Notes to Self II

“Be like a duck. Calm on the surface, but always paddling like the dickens underneath.”

— Michael Caine

In the “Notes to Self” series, I write down words my mind and heart should fully remember.

If you have been following The Dispatch for quite a while, you may have noticed that I cheated a bit on make a chronological Notes to Self. But that’s OK. This is my blog anyway.

Nervous Notes I

In order for me to calm down, I need:
a pill that soothes my mind,
a certain number of supporting hands,
someone who can pick my brain for an hour,
and comforting, assuring words

but my support system is nothing
when I do not follow their advice,
when I suddenly teleport to an unknown place,
when I let my own worries eat my future

I do not want to gain more nicknames,
“Stubborn Sumbitch”
“The Test of Patience”
“The Bridge Burner”
or simply a lost cause

In a war inside my head,
reinforcements can only do so much
I want my sanity to come home
But it’s a war I have to win alone

 

Like a Tree

A friend with a different world view
left recently without notice
and no path pointing back
I have to admit:
Bonds crumbling abruptly eat me alive
but I have spent years moping with losses
while forgetting the 52 who stayed
Now I realize:
I would rather grow with those who remain like a tree
than waste waters on dead plants.

(Image Credit: Pixabay)