The Diary of The Deranged Writer

Notes to Self XXIX & XXX

Since yesterday, I have had a big ball of fuming frustration in my chest, and tonight I need to let it out. This is a double-feature Notes to Self.

Trigger warning: Themes of mental illness and anxiety. Please be advised.

Song of the Moment CXVI: Motörhead’s”Till the End”

For the past several days, I’ve been all ears on all of Motörhead’s studio albums in chronological order, and last Saturday, March 28, I finally reached the last album Lemmy ever recorded with his long-time bandmates (released in 2015), Bad Magic. One song that hit me harder than their usual fast-paced ones was the slow-tempo yet still heavy track “Till The End.”

I’m Honestly Not Fine

The world moved on long ago
I’m still too far behind
Why am I still like this, though?
I’m honestly not fine

My gentle smile’s just for show
My fuel’s in decline
Is time moving fast or slow?
I’m honestly not fine

The world has forgiven me
But I still feel maligned
I can’t move on and be free
I’m honestly not fine

My heart is in constant ache
The sun still couldn’t shine
I’m still stuck with my mistakes
I’m honestly not fine

Header image: Simon Robben of Pexels. Edited in Adobe Photoshop 2025.