Notes to Self IX

“If I take death into my life, acknowledge it, and face it squarely, I will free myself from the anxiety of death and the pettiness of life – and only then will I be free to become myself.”

— Martin Heidegger, German philosopher

In the “Notes to Self” series, I write down words my mind and heart should fully remember.

And I am fascinated with the concept of death while suffering from anxiety and depression. What the fuck, right? But that’s just who I am.


Notes to Self VIII

“You can’t antagonize and evangelize at the same time.”

— Mama Tammye, Queer Eye (2018)[1] (Season 2, Episode 1)

In the “Notes to Self” series, I write down words my mind and heart should fully remember. And of all my entries to this series so far, this should be on everyone’s minds and hearts, especially the religious.

In a world full of faithful folks and even political figures who twist their bible verses to justify their hate for the LGBTQ+ community, the quote from Mama Tammye (that I learned an hour before I started writing this) is really socially relevant and is so heartwarming to hear. A beautiful African-American church lady from Gay, Georgia is preaching her Lord Jesus’ commandment to “love one another, as He loves them”, and that includes gays like her son, whom she has not spoken for quite a long time. Even if it took years for Mama Tammye to accept her son for who he really is, the important thing is now she truly loves him unconditionally. And if only more people are like Mama Tammye, the world will be a better place to live in.

Damn it, Fab 5. Why did you make me cry again?


1 – Queer Eye is a Netflix original series and a reboot of the  series Queer Eye for the Straight Guy (2007). With a completely different Fab 5 (Antoni Porowski [food and wine]; Tan France [fashion]; Karamo Brown, [culture]; Bobby Berk [design] and Jonathan Van Ness [grooming]), a different location, but with the same charm and fun vibe that made the first Queer Eye series successful, it is one of the reality series I would actually watch and recommend to everyone.

Image credit: Queer Eye/Netflix (2018)


Sunday Night Questions V

My anxiety levels are as high as Mount Everest (again), special thanks to this almost-every-week of overtime that since since May. What can I do though? I have a job to do, and I do not want to disappoint the company. But I feel my brain and that same creeping anxiety attack are having their own baby anxiety attack. What the shit? I’m seriously considering the 2-month resignation notice if this does not stop.

In the meantime, one way to distract myself from this work anxiety is writing either on my journal or writing here on The Dispatch. Now let me distract myself with the return of Sunday Night Questions, where I answer a set of 5 yes-or-no questions, and I can but am not obligated explain the answers. I’d like to rant tonight, so expect a lot of it after the jump.

And here we go…  Continue reading Sunday Night Questions V