Sunday Night Questions V

My anxiety levels are as high as Mount Everest (again), special thanks to this almost-every-week of overtime that since since May. What can I do though? I have a job to do, and I do not want to disappoint the company. But I feel my brain and that same creeping anxiety attack are having their own baby anxiety attack. What the shit? I’m seriously considering the 2-month resignation notice if this does not stop.

In the meantime, one way to distract myself from this work anxiety is writing either on my journal or writing here on The Dispatch. Now let me distract myself with the return of Sunday Night Questions, where I answer a set of 5 yes-or-no questions, and I can but am not obligated explain the answers. I’d like to rant tonight, so expect a lot of it after the jump.

And here we go…  Continue reading Sunday Night Questions V

Notes to Self II

“Be like a duck. Calm on the surface, but always paddling like the dickens underneath.”

— Michael Caine

In the “Notes to Self” series, I write down words my mind and heart should fully remember.

If you have been following The Dispatch for quite a while, you may have noticed that I cheated a bit on make a chronological Notes to Self. But that’s OK. This is my blog anyway.

Nervous Notes I

In order for me to calm down, I need:
a pill that soothes my mind,
a certain number of supporting hands,
someone who can pick my brain for an hour,
and comforting, assuring words

but my support system is nothing
when I do not follow their advice,
when I suddenly teleport to an unknown place,
when I let my own worries eat my future

I do not want to gain more nicknames,
“Stubborn Sumbitch”
“The Test of Patience”
“The Bridge Burner”
or simply a lost cause

In a war inside my head,
reinforcements can only do so much
I want my sanity to come home
But it’s a war I have to win alone