Sick and Tired

I’m so sick and tired
of the demons playing
the sadness hardwired
anxiety baying

I’m so sick and tired
of the dark side preying
the cold black I esquire
and senses still rotting?

I’m so sick and tired
of all of my straying
the people I admire
they know I’m draining

I’m so sick and tired
of the demons playing
maybe I should expire
I don’t see me winning

Notes to Self IX

“If I take death into my life, acknowledge it, and face it squarely, I will free myself from the anxiety of death and the pettiness of life – and only then will I be free to become myself.”

— Martin Heidegger, German philosopher

In the “Notes to Self” series, I write down words my mind and heart should fully remember.

And I am fascinated with the concept of death while suffering from anxiety and depression. What the fuck, right? But that’s just who I am.


Sunday Night Questions V

My anxiety levels are as high as Mount Everest (again), special thanks to this almost-every-week of overtime that since since May. What can I do though? I have a job to do, and I do not want to disappoint the company. But I feel my brain and that same creeping anxiety attack are having their own baby anxiety attack. What the shit? I’m seriously considering the 2-month resignation notice if this does not stop.

In the meantime, one way to distract myself from this work anxiety is writing either on my journal or writing here on The Dispatch. Now let me distract myself with the return of Sunday Night Questions, where I answer a set of 5 yes-or-no questions, and I can but am not obligated explain the answers. I’d like to rant tonight, so expect a lot of it after the jump.

And here we go…  Continue reading Sunday Night Questions V