Tag: darkness

10-Minute Warning CLIII

For my 6th entry of 14 Days of The Deranged Writer (2024), I want to share that I’m feeling the birthday blues again.

Why do I have the birthday blues today? Maybe it’s because today I did not have enough sleep, I woke up earlier than usual for work, and I had difficulty napping in the afternoon. Maybe it’s because I’m disappointed at a flaw in my recent purchase (that I only found just now, and I may or may not talk about it later). Maybe it’s because I still have not booked a table yet for my birthday dinner. Or maybe it’s all of the above.

Anyway, I hope to turn things around before or on my birthday, December 5. But for now, I’m dwelling in the dark again.

Ω

10-Minute Warning CXLII

All right. After 2 weeks of physical weakness and depression, I have gained the energy to finish work on time and now I want to walk and jog tonight. The energy may not be 100%, but it’s a start. I thank that cold brew this morning, my family, and my “lamp posts” for giving me the energy and hope today.

I learned a few years ago that whenever I’m in a depressive state, I should not rush to bounce back. I should rest and dwell in the darkness for a while. And then when I find my lamp posts and gain enough energy, that’s when I start to bounce back. And The Diary, I will let you know when I truly keep fighting.

That’s all I can share for today.

Ω

Written on September 26, 2024, 7:53pm. Published on September 27, 2024, 9:39pm. Minor edits were made at 11:25pm.

Header image: Marta Dzedyshko of Pexels. Edited in Adobe Photoshop 2024.

Song of the Moment VIII: Matchbox Twenty’s “Unwell”

Today was an OK day for me. I went to the ENT to have my ears checked and cleaned. (I can hear better now; it’s like I have Daredevil’s heightened hearing now.) I went to pay my monthly bills. I had lunch and wrote in my journal at my favorite spot Satchmi. I checked the new Samsung Galaxy S24 Ultra at a Samsung store. I had some afternoon drinks with my Mother and cousins. Then we went home and I quickly worked on a document for next week.

But tonight, I started remembering that one thing that broke my heart, and now I’m mentally unwell. Let me quote that Matchbox Twenty classic.

But I’m not crazy, I’m just a little unwell
I know, right now you can’t tell
But stay a while and maybe then you’ll see
A different side of me

I’m not crazy, I’m just a little impaired
I know, right now you don’t care
But soon enough you’re gonna think of me
And how I used to be

Matchbox Twenty’s “Unwell”
The music video of Matchbox Twenty’s “Unwell”.

Now let me dwell in the darkness once again.

Ω