Tag: darkness

10-Minute Warning CXLII

All right. After 2 weeks of physical weakness and depression, I have gained the energy to finish work on time and now I want to walk and jog tonight. The energy may not be 100%, but it’s a start. I thank that cold brew this morning, my family, and my “lamp posts” for giving me the energy and hope today.

I learned a few years ago that whenever I’m in a depressive state, I should not rush to bounce back. I should rest and dwell in the darkness for a while. And then when I find my lamp posts and gain enough energy, that’s when I start to bounce back. And The Diary, I will let you know when I truly keep fighting.

That’s all I can share for today.

Ω

Written on September 26, 2024, 7:53pm. Published on September 27, 2024, 9:39pm. Minor edits were made at 11:25pm.

Header image: Marta Dzedyshko of Pexels. Edited in Adobe Photoshop 2024.

Song of the Moment VIII: Matchbox Twenty’s “Unwell”

Today was an OK day for me. I went to the ENT to have my ears checked and cleaned. (I can hear better now; it’s like I have Daredevil’s heightened hearing now.) I went to pay my monthly bills. I had lunch and wrote in my journal at my favorite spot Satchmi. I checked the new Samsung Galaxy S24 Ultra at a Samsung store. I had some afternoon drinks with my Mother and cousins. Then we went home and I quickly worked on a document for next week.

But tonight, I started remembering that one thing that broke my heart, and now I’m mentally unwell. Let me quote that Matchbox Twenty classic.

But I’m not crazy, I’m just a little unwell
I know, right now you can’t tell
But stay a while and maybe then you’ll see
A different side of me

I’m not crazy, I’m just a little impaired
I know, right now you don’t care
But soon enough you’re gonna think of me
And how I used to be

Matchbox Twenty’s “Unwell”
The music video of Matchbox Twenty’s “Unwell”.

Now let me dwell in the darkness once again.

Ω

10-Minute Warning LXXXVI

So, what can I share under 10 minutes?

As I said in the previous post, I’m depressed and I’m feeling the birthday blues. Whenever I’m depressed, it’s either (1) I dwell in the darkness or (2) I distract myself so I can feel at least a bit better. Today, I did option number 2.

So, what did I do today to distract myself? I took a longer, colder bath to be more awake without drinking caffeine. I had a healthy plate of pineapple chicken for brunch. I went to church with my Mother and cousin Risa. After hearing Mass, I dropped by Paskomiket and bought a Dave Ghorl sticker (not a typo) from one of my favorite Filipino comic book artists Mr. Toto Madayag (creator of Libreng Komiks). I also had a small but fun conversation with Mr. Madayag. After that, I had some snacks at Pound with my Mother, cousin Risa, Uncle Don, Aunt Grace, and their daughter Sofi. And finally, Elder Brother bought me and Risa some Oreo cheesecake milk tea.

Now that today is ending as I’m typing this, how am I now? Thanks to my church time, the Dave Ghorl sticker, my chat with Mr. Madayag, our small family snack time, and Elder Brother’s milk tea treat, I feel a bit better. It’s not the “much better” feeling I should be having before my birthday, but at least I’m getting there.

And oh! One of my friends whom I invited to my birthday party just replied. She’s available on my birthday. I’m so happy! Yes!

Ω