Breathe I

2 seconds to gather air
face crunched, in its weirdest
the worry, you should not care
with oxygen, fearless

5 seconds to release air
the mouth in its clearance
catalysts of your nightmares
collected this instance

2 seconds to gather air
nevermind judging stares
the worry, you must not care
all throbbing thoughts laid bare

5 seconds to release air
soothe the panic away
our hope will become the flare
we’ll make the world not grey  Ω

Tiny Glimpses

In this whole wide darkness
I’m shedding tears with little progress
I bleed with huge burdens
My mind with uncertainty stirred in

In this whole wide darkness
I’m craving for the total catharsis
I desire to let go
all gods are watching and in the know

In this whole wide darkness
Untether from the pain regardless
Eyes closed, one heavy breath
The self about to court with Lady Death

In this whole wide darkness
oh, the edge of eternal stillness
then there’s a distraction
or rather a vibrant attraction

In this whole wide darkness
My eyesight is in total sharpness
All the stars, all light up
There they are, my beloved backup

In this whole wide darkness
A friend’s quote serve as my harness
“In this whole wide darkness,
focus on the tiniest glimpses.”

In this whole wide darkness
People, passions lead to happiness
Feed me your energy
so I can constraint this misery

In this whole wide darkness
Monsters who make me so breathless
All light and power aligned
Restraining orders I have signed

In this whole wide darkness
there is no more feeling hopeless
maybe temporary
but the next time I am ready

In this whole wide darkness
the world in its purest harshness
but the stars up my head
the blackest night I must not dread  Ω

LII: On Undertaker’s Birthday and Being Thankful To All


March 24 is the birthday of my favorite professional wrestler of all time Mark Calaway, most popularly known as The Undertaker.

I will save the lengthy to another post; I have written a tribute to him almost two years ago. Yes, he did returned for a few more matches (notably against John Cena at WrestleMania 34). And yes, for the past 2 years I have grown fond of more athletic wrestlers like Finn Balor, Kenny Omega and Aleister Black. But the bittersweet moment I felt at the end of WrestleMania 33 and my overall appreciation for The Deadman still stands. He is still my top favorite competitor on any era, and his legend will live on forever.

Thank you, Undertaker, for all you have done in the ring, and for being a huge part of my life. Happy birthday, Deadman.


Speaking of thanks, I would also like to take this time to thank everyone I met, known and befriended through the years either as The Deranged Writer or the man behind the masked persona.

I know I have been melancholic lately again, and it shows on my recent series of depressing poems here on The Dispatch. And I also know I have been a huge burden lately. But don’t worry. It will be over soon. Everything will be over soon.

I wish I can thank all of you one by one right now. But thank you. All of you. Ω