birthday – The Diary of The Deranged Writer

Another Conversation Among Deranged Writers II: Notes to Self XXXII

2019

One humid yet emotionally cold afternoon, I was missing someone more than usual, even though it had been months since our bridge burned. And then I remembered it was that person’s birthday. I thought it wouldn’t hurt to send a simple, casual greeting for the occasion, so I pulled my phone, quickly texted it, and went on with my normally depressing day.

Past midnight, after pigging out on my third plate of baked macaroni in four hours, I took my nightly medicine and dozed off. There, I was teleported to a part of dreamland I’d never been before, and I’m a pretty vivid dreamer. I entered this almost-vast coliseum-like courtroom with chains covering the ceiling, and people were in their chairs like confident judges. After a minute, my eyes became much clearer: the ones in their seats were alternate versions of me.

10-Minute Warning CCIII

One of the things that made me feel trapped in a silent, dark prison lately is missing my most important goal in the first half of the year, and that goal would’ve helped me in the second half. No one likes ruined plans, but it’s an extraordinary hurt for me because it also involves a simple birthday wish that only I can turn into reality.

Honestly, I would be fine with just following the birthday dinner tradition I started in 2019, but if you ask me what I really want, it’s… never mind. I’ll just say that it’s as simple and complicated as throwing a birthday dinner, even if it’s just for family and close friends.

I’m still not giving up on those important goals, but I need to be realistic in how to reach them before the actual deadline, which is a week after my birthday. God help me. I really wish for that blueprint to turn into a skyscraper.

Header image: Altin Rrahmani of Pexels. Edited in Adobe Photoshop 2026.

XLV: Full Circle IV: The Diary’s 3rd Anniversary

Today is the third anniversary of The Diary, my main home on the World Wide Web. I don’t think I have ever reached a third anniversary post on any of my older blogs, but here we are! I’m truly happy about this milestone.

And since we’re talking about numero tres, let me randomly pick three of my favorite written posts. Funnily enough, they were all published in 2025, and each represented three sides of me: the light, the dark, and the absurd. (And I also explained why I remember writing them fondly.)