sadness – The Diary of The Deranged Writer

From Afar

Getting your well-deserved promotion
Exploring the mysterious yet exciting world
I wish I could say I’m happy for you
But I can only be joyful for you from afar

The loss of someone important to you
A rejection that breaks your heart
I wish I could be there for you
But I can only be sad for you from afar

An intimate party with the ones you love
A massive show with you as the main star
I hope I can be glorious with you
But I can only say cheers to you from afar

All of these scenarios running in my mind
I’m uncertain if they happened or not
I only have these alternate trajectories
While I’m sure you’re enjoying life from afar

Then one day, the universe gave an answer
One alternate trajectory turned reality
One day, I walked and enjoyed the quiet
Then I saw you from afar

Your smile was beaming, beautiful as ever
Enjoying a meal with the ones you love
Our bond’s end shattered my world
But now I’m happy for you from afar

I have to live with the bittersweet truth:
My absence led to your happiness
So, even if it breaks my heart
I have to grow old with you from afar

Header image: Nazila Azimzada of Pexels. Edited in Adobe Photoshop 2025.

10-Minute Warning CXCIV

What I truly dislike is when people tell me not to cry.

I’m quite aware that not every problem can be fixed, and everyone makes mistakes. But whether that problem can be fixed, or I end up crying over spilled milk, I should be allowed to shed tears. I learned a long time ago that I can’t just bottle up my sorrow and anger, and I need to express myself (not in a destructive way, of course) to feel catharsis, to feel better. To certain people, why am I not allowed to cry?

If I’m not allowed to cry in a place that I thought to be safe, fuck that shit. Maybe I should look for a safer space elsewhere. And if I can’t find another safe space, it’s a good thing I have The Diary.

One more day before my birthday.

A part of 14 Days of The Deranged Writer (2025).

Header image: Hans of Pixabay. Edited in Adobe Photoshop 2025.

Listen VI: Foo Fighters’ “Asking for a Friend”

In my previous Listen post, I wrote a love letter to my third-favorite Foo Fighters song, “Walk” (the third single and last song from the band’s seventh studio album Wasting Light). I shared how the song gave me light in a truly dark period in 2011. I also shared that during my sing-along to “Walk” at my second (and best) Foos show last October 4, 2025, it started with a few seconds of tears and ended up singing along angrily. That was a cathartic moment for me.

Then, on the night of October 23, 2025, after having a lovely birthday dinner with my family (it was my Mother’s birthday), the Foo Fighters released their newest song, “Asking for a Friend”. Little did I know that, once again, I would feel multiple emotions all at once because of a song from my all-time favorite band.

The newest Foo Fighters song, “Asking for a Friend”.