ridiculous – The Diary of The Deranged Writer

XLI: The Return of Light in December 1

Since 2019, December 1 has become a haunting day. It reminded me of a ghost from a failed relationship, and I easily see ghosts through specific dates, photographs, and even songs. For a few years, I had to endure the pain of seeing those ghosts, especially on December 1.

In 2022, I took it upon myself to make December 1 a less sad day. Not happy; less sad. I kept myself busy. I greeted an uncle who is also a December 1 celebrant. I numbed myself with alcohol. I kept myself busy some more. And in doing all of those things, somehow they work, even if I still see that particular ghost.

But today, December 1, 2025, many happy moments have happened. At midnight, I was sharing laughs with an online friend (once again) about the most ridiculously unhinged professional wrestler of all time, “Big Poppa Pump” Scott Steiner. This morning, I woke up early, and I had some lovely FRESH POTS that energized my body and soul. I was able to accomplish the work tasks that I could do before I went running errands. After those errands, I had a fresh haircut and a satisfying massage. And now I’m having my thirst-quenching iced tea at my favorite cafe. I will absolutely have dinner here as well.

But the happiest part of the day? It’s talking to my new friend. It feels nice getting to know more about a gentle, kind soul.

It’s 6:00pm as I type this entry, but thanks to all those moments today, for the first time in years, I can declare that December 1 is a happy day. In fact, December 1, 2025, is the happiest December 1 of my life. Yes, the ghosts are still there, but they don’t haunt me anymore. The light I have been feeling lately outweighs the dark.

Four more days to go before my birthday, December 5!

A part of 14 Days of The Deranged Writer (2025).

Header image: Marta Dzedyshko of Pexels. Edited in Adobe Photoshop 2025.

XXXVI: The Nocturnal’s Struggle of Waking Up Early / Notes to Self XVI

If you have been following The Diary lately, you should know that I’ve been making gradual changes in my life. One of those changes is waking up early for work—ideally at 8:00am. I did just that on most workdays after ToyCon 2025, and there were times I even woke up at 6:00am. (That’s a feat for a nocturnal person like me, and even my family is shocked by the fact that I woke up before they did.)

Now it’s beyond the middle of August 2025, and I admit that I haven’t really been waking up as early as 8am lately… and that’s fine.

(Buckle up because this is going to be a long post.)

Watch VI: Bron Breakker’s Version of Steiner Math

Have you ever woke up and expected a bad day ahead, but the universe instead gave you at least one good reason to be happy about?

That’s what happened to me recently when I watched a clip from the latest episode of WWE’s Monday Night Raw while I was commuting to the mall with my Mother, and I saw Bron Breakker take a page out of the book of his uncle, “Big Poppa Pump” Scott Steiner. Mr. Breakker said his own version of Steiner Math, and it made me laugh like a madman in public. And frankly, I needed the laugh at that time.