I have shared a few times in my life that there is strength in vulnerability. But recently, when I took off my mask, reached out to someone I care about, and entered my most vulnerable state, I was met with overwhelm and distance, and I broke down to the core. I even apologized for being vulnerable and breaking down because I was afraid I ruined the connection, but doing that was also incredibly humiliating.
I thought to myself, “What did accepting my real self and being truly vulnerable accomplish except distance and emotional death? What’s the point of taking my mask off then?”
I still believe in the strength of vulnerability. But if I am to continue living and become vulnerable without fear of rejection and distance, I will force myself to wear my human face during the day, and become true and free while wearing my real face—my mask—at night.
From now on, the real face is my mask, and my mask is my real face.
I may be fine on the outside, but beneath the surface, my real self died. The Deranged Writer lives on.
Tonight, as I drink my favorite Jack and Coke Zero to open the weekend, I’m listening to “Satanized”, the first single from Ghost’s upcoming album Skeletá. And let me tell you the reasons “Satanized” is my Song of the Moment.
If you have been reading The Diary for quite a long time, you should know that Ghost (a Swedish heavy metal/hard rock band with a Satanic theme) is one my favorite bands of all time. And last February 5, 2025, the legendary heavy metal band Black Sabbath announced their final concert, which will be held on July 5, 2025 at Villa Park, Birmingham, UK. One of the performers listed is Ghost’s newest vocalist, Papa V Perpetua.
In the first three album cycles, the vocalists took the name of “Papa Emeritus”—Papa Emeritus I for Opus Eponymous, Papa Emeritus II for Infestissumam, and Papa Emeritus III for Meliora. In the fourth album cycle (Prequelle), Cardinal Copia took over, and in the fifth (Impera), Cardinal Copia was promoted to Papa Emeritus IV. So, it was a breath of fresh air when it was announced that the newest Ghost frontman has a slightly different name, “Papa V Perpetua”. (“Perpetua” means “eternal”.)
Then last Wednesday, March 5, 2025, Ghost released the music video of “Satanized”. And in the video’s final scene, Papa V Perpetua and the Nameless Ghouls were finally revealed. I got goosebumps seeing the new look of Ghost—Papa V Perpetua in a magnificent purple-dominant robe and mitre with a cool half-skull mask/face paint combo, and the Nameless Ghouls in breathtaking skeleton-themed attire.
Side note: Papa V Perpetua somehow reminds me of Papa Emeritus III.
The music video of Ghost’s “Satanized”.
My excitement for the reinvigorated Ghost is one reason for “Satanized” being my Song of the Moment. The other reason is that “Satanized” intertwines lyrics about an untreatable demonic possession and a fight within oneself with the softer rock sound Ghost had developed during Prequelle and Impera, and I love every second of listening to it.
The new Ghost album, Skeletá, will be released on April 25, 2025.
Cheers to the weekend!
Ω
Header image: The music video of Ghost’s “Satanized”. Edited in Adobe Photoshop 2025.
Published on March 8, 2025 at 1:13am. Edits were made at 2:13am.
It’s Saturday night and I’m still happy from last night because, for the second time, I met one of my childhood heroes, Mr. Tetsuo Kurata, the actor who played Kotaro Minami/Robert Akizuki in the tokusatsu series Kamen Rider Black. This time, I met him at an exclusive dinner in his restaurant Steak House Kurata at Parqal.
The dinner slash meet-and-greet last night was more memorable for me than the first time I met Mr. Kurata because of one key moment: I almost got speechless when Mr. Kurata, his son Kotaro, and Ms. Anne of TokuSpirits approached me while I ate my salad. I had a short message prepared on my phone, but I was so shocked when the man himself was in front of me that I forgot my message. But I got it together seconds later and thanked him for making my childhood awesome. Also, my photos with him this time looked better than my first photo with him. (Too bad I forgot my mask for this though so I can post a photo on my Instagram.) I will always remember this night.
Because of this epic milestone, my Song of the Moment is Kamen Rider Black’s opening song—and Mr. Kurata himself sang it. And I’m listening to the theme song while I’m enjoying my Jack and Coke Zero.
The opening of Kamen Rider Black.
Again, I say to Mr. Tetsuo Kurata, thank you for making my childhood awesome. And thank you, Steak House Kurata and TokuSpirits, for making the exclusive dinner possible. Thank you so much!
(I will try to make a proper post about the event next time because I’m so tipsy as hell right now.)
The Diary of The Deranged Writer 