Tag: weakness

10-Minute Warning CL

What can I write here under 10 minutes?

I need to get this off my chest: I give up. I can’t force myself to blog twice or thrice today to reach my blog count for October 2024. A part of my mind wants to push myself, but I’ve been so mentally unwell lately that it also affected my physical health. My entire being is so weak. That is also why I didn’t go for a walk/jog even if I promised to work out more.

But even if I’m physically and mentally healthy, I can’t blog twice or thrice in one day. I wish I was a writing machine, but I’m not. I’m only human and I can only blog once a day. I was also planning on blogging for 14 days from November 22 to my birthday December 5 (just like what I did in 2023), but in my current weak state, I’m worried that I might fail again like how I failed this September and October 2024.

Fuck this shit.

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10-Minute Warning CXLIV

An update on my physical health today: After waking up at noon, I feel weak again and my head feels heavy. I pushed through Mass and dinner with my Mother, younger brothers and cousins, and I still feel sick. And now here I am, struggling to blog on mobile.

I will rest early and I hope to be fine tomorrow. If I do become fine tomorrow, I will blog twice so I can reach my monthly blog count. But if I don’t, oh well.

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10-Minute Warning CXLII

All right. After 2 weeks of physical weakness and depression, I have gained the energy to finish work on time and now I want to walk and jog tonight. The energy may not be 100%, but it’s a start. I thank that cold brew this morning, my family, and my “lamp posts” for giving me the energy and hope today.

I learned a few years ago that whenever I’m in a depressive state, I should not rush to bounce back. I should rest and dwell in the darkness for a while. And then when I find my lamp posts and gain enough energy, that’s when I start to bounce back. And The Diary, I will let you know when I truly keep fighting.

That’s all I can share for today.

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Written on September 26, 2024, 7:53pm. Published on September 27, 2024, 9:39pm. Minor edits were made at 11:25pm.

Header image: Marta Dzedyshko of Pexels. Edited in Adobe Photoshop 2024.