unwell – The Diary of The Deranged Writer

10-Minute Warning CVI

I know I said I would publish a birthday post for my no. 1 hero, Dave Grohl of Foo Fighters, today. But I’m not proud after reading what I wrote for the nth time. And also, I’m mentally unwell once again. I think my recent bout with mental illness may have started when I skipped my meds on New Year’s Eve. (Since 2019, I never skipped my meds. Oops.)

I’m sorry. I hope I will be better on Friday, though I’m not sure if I will publish my letter to Mr. Grohl on that day. Again, I’m sorry.

Header image: Quintin Gellar of Pexels. Edited in Adobe Photoshop 2023.

Song of the Moment VIII: Matchbox Twenty’s “Unwell”

Today was an OK day for me. I went to the ENT to have my ears checked and cleaned. (I can hear better now; it’s like I have Daredevil’s heightened hearing now.) I went to pay my monthly bills. I had lunch and wrote in my journal at my favorite spot Satchmi. I checked the new Samsung Galaxy S24 Ultra at a Samsung store. I had some afternoon drinks with my Mother and cousins. Then we went home and I quickly worked on a document for next week.

But tonight, I started remembering that one thing that broke my heart, and now I’m mentally unwell. Let me quote that Matchbox Twenty classic.

But I’m not crazy, I’m just a little unwell
I know, right now you can’t tell
But stay a while and maybe then you’ll see
A different side of me

I’m not crazy, I’m just a little impaired
I know, right now you don’t care
But soon enough you’re gonna think of me
And how I used to be
Matchbox Twenty’s “Unwell”

The music video of Matchbox Twenty’s “Unwell”.

Now let me dwell in the darkness once again.

X: From 2023 to 2024 (A Year-End Post) I

At exactly 12am on December 2023, I started writing my year-end post while finishing my 2nd Jack and Coke. I made an outline of all the good and bad things that happened in my year 2023, and then I started fleshing out what I outlined.

While I was writing the almost middle of the post, I yawned. I said to myself, “Crap. I feel tired. I’m supposed to finish this post.” But then I decided not to fight the sleepiness, so I hopped on the couch and napped.

5 minutes later, I woke up, and my laptop was off. I didn’t turn off my laptop.

And then I heard a voice. “Hi, Dewey.”

I looked up and I saw myself – a version of myself, that is. He is The Deranged Writer of 2008.