past – The Diary of The Deranged Writer

Notes to Self XXV

Last night, I was in a reflective mood while I was scrolling through my drafts. Then I found something worth filing under the Notes to Self category. It was a quote I would always bring up on my social media accounts and one of my old main blogs (which preceded The Diary), but I never really explained it personally. Since I’m still in a reflective mood tonight, I figured I should bring it up one more time and finally expound on it.

The quote? It’s a line CM Punk (who was slowly growing out of The Nexus and had entered his Best in the World era) said to Mr. McMahon during a contract negotiation on an episode of WWE Raw in 2011.

XLI: The Return of Light in December 1

Since 2019, December 1 has become a haunting day. It reminded me of a ghost from a failed relationship, and I easily see ghosts through specific dates, photographs, and even songs. For a few years, I had to endure the pain of seeing those ghosts, especially on December 1.

In 2022, I took it upon myself to make December 1 a less sad day. Not happy; less sad. I kept myself busy. I greeted an uncle who is also a December 1 celebrant. I numbed myself with alcohol. I kept myself busy some more. And in doing all of those things, somehow they work, even if I still see that particular ghost.

But today, December 1, 2025, many happy moments have happened. At midnight, I was sharing laughs with an online friend (once again) about the most ridiculously unhinged professional wrestler of all time, “Big Poppa Pump” Scott Steiner. This morning, I woke up early, and I had some lovely FRESH POTS that energized my body and soul. I was able to accomplish the work tasks that I could do before I went running errands. After those errands, I had a fresh haircut and a satisfying massage. And now I’m having my thirst-quenching iced tea at my favorite cafe. I will absolutely have dinner here as well.

But the happiest part of the day? It’s talking to my new friend. It feels nice getting to know more about a gentle, kind soul.

It’s 6:00pm as I type this entry, but thanks to all those moments today, for the first time in years, I can declare that December 1 is a happy day. In fact, December 1, 2025, is the happiest December 1 of my life. Yes, the ghosts are still there, but they don’t haunt me anymore. The light I have been feeling lately outweighs the dark.

Four more days to go before my birthday, December 5!

A part of 14 Days of The Deranged Writer (2025).

Header image: Marta Dzedyshko of Pexels. Edited in Adobe Photoshop 2025.

Notes to Self XVII

If I were to compare the past 48 hours to something, it would be a whirlwind. And in those hours, I realized my most important Notes to Self to date:

Your work is important. Your hobbies are important. But your loved ones are more important.

That is all for now. See you in the next post.