Kurt Angle – The Diary of The Deranged Writer

Watch VI: Bron Breakker’s Version of Steiner Math

Have you ever woke up and expected a bad day ahead, but the universe instead gave you at least one good reason to be happy about?

That’s what happened to me recently when I watched a clip from the latest episode of WWE’s Monday Night Raw while I was commuting to the mall with my Mother, and I saw Bron Breakker take a page out of the book of his uncle, “Big Poppa Pump” Scott Steiner. Mr. Breakker said his own version of Steiner Math, and it made me laugh like a madman in public. And frankly, I needed the laugh at that time.

XXXII: The Deranged Writer’s Struggle with Steinermania I

“Big Poppa Pump” Scott Steiner. He looked nuts. Image credit: WWE.

Scott Steiner is one of my favorite professional wrestlers of all time. As one-half of the Steiner Brothers alongside Rick Steiner, he is a gifted heavyweight athlete who unbelievably moves with the agility of a cruiserweight. And when he became the madman that is “Big Poppa Pump”, he delivered some of the craziest diatribes in pro wrestling history (whether he’s wearing a chainmail headgear or not)… and I laugh at them. The man has no chill.

But lately, I think I have been watching too many Scott Steiner videos too many times, and almost everything reminds me of him. In short, I got Steinermania.

IV: Happiest Birthday, Undertaker!

Today, March 24, 2023, is the 58th birthday of my favorite professional wrestler of all time, Mark Calaway AKA The Undertaker. In light of such an occasion, I was planning on writing a lengthy post covering his career and persona evolution. But then I decided to do the extensive post later (perhaps on November 22, Taker’s WWE anniversary), keep it simple, and say: Thank you, Undertaker.

Thank you, Undertaker, for making my childhood awesome. Before I became hooked on Batman, Power Rangers, and Kamen Rider Black, I was hooked when I saw you for the first time, donning the black hat, coat, purple gloves, and all, slowly walking to the purple-lit wrestling ring. You are a haunting yet cool comic book character that came to life, and at first glance, you became my favorite wrestler right away. You are the reason I started loving professional wrestling.

Thank you, Undertaker, for all the matches and memories you were a part of. Most of my favorite matches feature you and my other favorite wrestlers – notably Edge, CM Punk, Triple H, Kurt Angle, Shawn Michaels, Bret Hart, and Mankind, among others. And those favorite matches of mine show how powerful yet athletic you are even if you are a superheavyweight. And all of your entrances (especially that WrestleMania XX entrance) are my favorite wrestling moments. Even your simple entrances on either Raw or SmackDown with fog and purple lights are already epic.

And thank you, Undertaker, for showing me the light through your darkness. You are the definition of turning something negative into something positive. You, alongside Batman, are the very reason I don’t fear the dark. Thank you.

Happiest of birthdays, Undertaker! You deserve a nice retirement after 30 years of wrestling for the fans. You deserve all of your accomplishments. And you deserve to be in the WWE Hall of Fame. Enjoy your day, sir!

Header image: WWE. Edited in Adobe Photoshop 2022.