Tag: weak

10-Minute Warning CLXXVI

OK. What can I tell here in under 10 minutes?

Since April 29, I have been trying to sleep and wake up early. Truly. I have been drinking my nightly medicine at 9pm, and it helped me sleep early. But the downside of drinking my nightly medicine is that I sleep longer than I want to. Sometimes, when I drink my meds at 9pm, I also wake up at 9am. Sometimes, I drink my meds at 9pm, and I wake up early… but I feel dazed and confused after. That’s insane.

I feel like my body got used to sleeping more because of the meds, and as much as I love sleeping for longer hours (and I quote my therapist once again, “sleep is medicine”), I want to go back to the normal 8-9 hours of proper sleep. I need to talk to my therapist about adjusting the medicine intake soon.

In the meantime, I drank my nightly medicine at 8:30pm. Will this work? I will see about that. I don’t feel slee… oh, there you go. My fingers are getting numb now. See you in the next post.

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10-Minute Warning CLXVI

All right. What can I write here under 10 minutes?

Or better yet, I should answer this: How am I today?

Physically, I feel weak. It must be because I woke up feeling tired, and I started eating less rice or carbohydrates in general. I realized that I had been eating more than usual, and I felt sad about how fat I looked. I also admit that I have been lazy about working out lately. I need to be careful about what I eat and I need to exercise more as well. I’m not getting any younger.

And mentally, my mind is still all over the place. I had a bit of work to do, so that kept me distracted for a while. Now I want to go out tonight and have my favorite affogato… or maybe a different drink, any drink that will make my heart and stomach happy. (No alcohol though. It’s not the weekend yet.)

Overall, I’m not fine, and I feel that I will be like this for the rest of the week. But I hope I will be wrong about that.

To everyone, have a nice week.

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10-Minute Warning CL

What can I write here under 10 minutes?

I need to get this off my chest: I give up. I can’t force myself to blog twice or thrice today to reach my blog count for October 2024. A part of my mind wants to push myself, but I’ve been so mentally unwell lately that it also affected my physical health. My entire being is so weak. That is also why I didn’t go for a walk/jog even if I promised to work out more.

But even if I’m physically and mentally healthy, I can’t blog twice or thrice in one day. I wish I was a writing machine, but I’m not. I’m only human and I can only blog once a day. I was also planning on blogging for 14 days from November 22 to my birthday December 5 (just like what I did in 2023), but in my current weak state, I’m worried that I might fail again like how I failed this September and October 2024.

Fuck this shit.

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