Tag: experience

XLI: The Return of Light in December 1

Since 2019, December 1 has become a haunting day. It reminded me of a ghost from a failed relationship, and I easily see ghosts through specific dates, photographs, and even songs. For a few years, I had to endure the pain of seeing those ghosts, especially on December 1.

In 2022, I took it upon myself to make December 1 a less sad day. Not happy; less sad. I kept myself busy. I greeted an uncle who is also a December 1 celebrant. I numbed myself with alcohol. I kept myself busy some more. And in doing all of those things, somehow they work, even if I still see that particular ghost.

But today, December 1, 2025, many happy moments have happened. At midnight, I was sharing laughs with an online friend (once again) about the most ridiculously unhinged professional wrestler of all time, “Big Poppa Pump” Scott Steiner. This morning, I woke up early, and I had some lovely FRESH POTS that energized my body and soul. I was able to accomplish the work tasks that I could do before I went running errands. After those errands, I had a fresh haircut and a satisfying massage. And now I’m having my thirst-quenching iced tea at my favorite cafe. I will absolutely have dinner here as well.

But the happiest part of the day? It’s talking to my new friend. It feels nice getting to know more about a gentle, kind soul.

It’s 6:00pm as I type this entry, but thanks to all those moments today, for the first time in years, I can declare that December 1 is a happy day. In fact, December 1, 2025, is the happiest December 1 of my life. Yes, the ghosts are still there, but they don’t haunt me anymore. The light I have been feeling lately outweighs the dark.

Four more days to go before my birthday, December 5!

Ω

A part of 14 Days of The Deranged Writer (2025).

Header image: Marta Dzedyshko of Pexels. Edited in Adobe Photoshop 2025.

Song of the Moment CII: Piano Project’s “Hurt” (A Johnny Cash/Nine Inch Nails Cover)

Last November 19, at night, after enjoying a refreshingly hot Earl Grey tea while sitting in Oversight, I walked around the nearby business district, and I saw all the buildings and lamp posts decorated with Christmas lights. For the first time in years, I felt the Christmas spirit early. It must be because I have had a long streak of happy moments lately, and seeing those bright Christmas decorations and feeling the holiday cheer early is another win for me. At that moment, I felt like I had won 21 straight wins at WrestleMania like The Undertaker did.

Then, as I continued walking, I decided to listen to something I discovered on Spotify two weeks ago: Piano Project’s cover of “Hurt” (Johnny Cash’s cover of the Nine Inch Nails song).

Side note: Two mentions of the word “cover” in one sentence. Damn.

Piano Project’s cover of “Hurt”.

Anyway, I may have had many happy memories lately, but I admit there are still a few demons and ghosts left. But I decided to listen to the hauntingly beautiful piano cover of “Hurt” during my late-night stroll, not out of pain; I need to listen to “Hurt” to be calm and grounded.

I have experienced so many joyful moments lately, and it’s been a total pleasure looking back at them… but I don’t want to get stuck on cloud nine. If I do that, I might lose sight of reality, and if that happens, I wouldn’t be able to achieve my goals (long-term or short-term, present and future) and create more happy moments. Thanks to Piano Project’s cover of “Hurt”, that calmness was achieved, and I feel grounded on earth again. I walked around the district with “Hurt” on repeat, clearer eyes, a refueled soul, and a gleeful heart, and then I ended the hour of wandering with these words:

Onto the next mission.

And that is why Piano Project’s cover of Johnny Cash’s version of “Hurt” is my Song of the Moment.

See you in the next post.

Ω

A part of 14 Days of The Deranged Writer (2025).

Header image: Jonathan Meyer of Pexels. Edited in Adobe Photoshop 2025.

Updated on November 25, 2025.

Song of the Moment CI: Foo Fighters’ “Everlong (Acoustic)” (Again)

It’s been a few days since my family and I arrived home from the capital of South Korea. My body is waving the white flag, tired from all the constant walking. (But thank goodness the cold weather made the trek comforting. Also, for a day, I wore a cold-weather outfit inspired by John Reese’s winter attire from Person of Interest [long, black coat, gloves, the works], which made me feel spy-badass while walking around. For a day, I truly embody The Man in the Suit.)

And honestly, my heart and soul are still halfway from Seoul. (Hey, that rhymed.) Why? Well, exactly a month after experiencing a true happy point (the Foo Fighters show at the Singapore Grand Prix), I experienced another true happy point during the Seoul tour, and these two lines from Foo Fighters’ “Everlong” (the 11th song and second single from The Colour and the Shape) perfectly describe it.

If everything could ever feel this real forever
If anything could ever be this good again

My hero, Dave Grohl, performs the acoustic version of Foo Fighters’ “Everlong” at the Save Our Stages Fest (2020).

I will tell you the full story once I fully recover and finish the other drafts I’m working on. But for now, I’m glad I’m feeling this real and this good again.

See you in the next post.

Ω

Updated on November 9, 2025.