emotional – The Diary of The Deranged Writer

30-Minute Warning XLIV

I’ve been recovering from the emotionally heaviest week of 2026 by far, so I’ll refrain from pressuring myself to publish a lengthy post tonight. What I can do tonight is share today’s happenings in under 30 minutes.

Like I said, I had an emotionally heavy week, but last night, it ended with a warm, honest conversation and a gigantic mason jar filled with large ice cubes and a refreshing Coke Zero. That made me sleep heavenly (even if I drank something cold and caffeinated), and I feel refreshed when I woke up today.

As for work, today’s stress was tolerable. I wrote proposals like a machine, I politely responded to troubleshooting reports, and I dispatched technicians for the aforementioned troubleshooting. After that, and running an errand, the workday ended early, so I went to Oversight early to observe my Monday ritual.

Speaking of Monday rituals, last week was so awful that even two visits to Oversight didn’t do the trick. Sometimes, habits that protect and ground me don’t work at all if the darkness is overwhelming. But I’m glad my family and a friend helped me through that period, and now I’m back to my safe space feeling lighter.

And now, another light from last week. Last Friday, April 24, my favorite band in the whole world, Foo Fighters, released their twelfth studio album, Your Favorite Toy. If I could write a lengthy album review, I would. But tonight, I’d like to relax more with my favorite affogato. Yet, here’s my short review: I’m elated that the Foo Fighters are back to being loud with the residue of post-Wasting Light albums’ experimental styles. I will make an in-depth album review when I feel 141 2/3% better.

But honestly, if I were to reach Steiner Math levels of wellness again soon, the album review would not be the first long post I would work on. I will talk more about the album’s antepenultimate track, “Child Actor”. Honestly, I didn’t expect the song to be a reminder of many recently depressing things at once, and since I listened to it during an already-dark week, it reduced me to tears. It became the soundtrack of last weekend for me, and I still can’t get enough of hearing it on loop (even as I type this).

Won’t you
Turn the cameras off
Turn the cameras off
Turn the cameras off
Turn the cameras off
Turn the cameras off
Turn the cameras off
Foo Fighters’ “Child Actor”

And my 30 minutes are up. Thank you for reading. See you in the next post, and have a nice week!

Header image: Raul Ling of Pexels. Edited in Adobe Photoshop 2025.

Listen VI: Foo Fighters’ “Asking for a Friend”

In my previous Listen post, I wrote a love letter to my third-favorite Foo Fighters song, “Walk” (the third single and last song on the band’s seventh studio album Wasting Light). I shared how the song gave me light in a truly dark period in 2011. I also shared that during my sing-along to “Walk” at my second (and best) Foos show on October 4, 2025, it started with a few seconds of tears and ended singing along angrily. That was a cathartic moment for me.

Then, on the night of October 23, 2025, after having a lovely birthday dinner with my family (it was my Mother’s birthday), the Foo Fighters released their newest song, “Asking for a Friend”. Little did I know that, once again, I would feel multiple emotions all at once because of a song from my all-time favorite band.

The newest Foo Fighters song, “Asking for a Friend”.

Song of the Moment LXXXIII: Maroon 5’s “Back at Your Door”

Since last Saturday night, I have been listening to Maroon 5’s “Back at Your Door” (the final song from the band’s second studio album It Won’t Be Soon Before Long) on repeat, and it looks like it’s turning into my favorite Maroon 5 song over “Makes Me Wonder” because of the mental and emotional pain I have lately. The jazz-flavored ballad is so full of regret and yearning, and in my humble opinion, it also presents Adam Levine’s best vocal performance.

An audio of Maroon 5’s “Back at Your Door”.

Listening to “Back at Your Door” last Saturday night kept me sane when my family was out of town and I was alone with my thoughts and my favorite Jack & Coke Zero. And what is the most painful part of the song—but I always go back to it? It’s this:

Why do you do this to me?
You penetrate right through me
Every time I wind up back at your door

No need to cry about it
I may just die without it
Every time I wind up back at your door
Maroon 5’s “Back at Your Door”

See you in the next post.

Header image: Juan Pablo Serrano of Pexels. Edited in Adobe Photoshop 2025.