dark – The Diary of The Deranged Writer

Frown I

For the past several years, I
Respond without a smile
Operate like a machine, and
Walk in the dark
No sun in my universe

Frown (Poetry Series): I

Header image: Pavlofox of Pixabay. Edited in Adobe Photoshop 2025.

XLI: The Return of Light in December 1

Since 2019, December 1 has become a haunting day. It reminded me of a ghost from a failed relationship, and I easily see ghosts through specific dates, photographs, and even songs. For a few years, I had to endure the pain of seeing those ghosts, especially on December 1.

In 2022, I took it upon myself to make December 1 a less sad day. Not happy; less sad. I kept myself busy. I greeted an uncle who is also a December 1 celebrant. I numbed myself with alcohol. I kept myself busy some more. And in doing all of those things, somehow they work, even if I still see that particular ghost.

But today, December 1, 2025, many happy moments have happened. At midnight, I was sharing laughs with an online friend (once again) about the most ridiculously unhinged professional wrestler of all time, “Big Poppa Pump” Scott Steiner. This morning, I woke up early, and I had some lovely FRESH POTS that energized my body and soul. I was able to accomplish the work tasks that I could do before I went running errands. After those errands, I had a fresh haircut and a satisfying massage. And now I’m having my thirst-quenching iced tea at my favorite cafe. I will absolutely have dinner here as well.

But the happiest part of the day? It’s talking to my new friend. It feels nice getting to know more about a gentle, kind soul.

It’s 6:00pm as I type this entry, but thanks to all those moments today, for the first time in years, I can declare that December 1 is a happy day. In fact, December 1, 2025, is the happiest December 1 of my life. Yes, the ghosts are still there, but they don’t haunt me anymore. The light I have been feeling lately outweighs the dark.

Four more days to go before my birthday, December 5!

A part of 14 Days of The Deranged Writer (2025).

Header image: Marta Dzedyshko of Pexels. Edited in Adobe Photoshop 2025.

XL: Watch VII: Dave Grohl’s FRESH POTS Video (and How It Echoed Through The Deranged Writer’s Caffeine-Fueled Life Story)

As part of 14 Days of The Deranged Writer (2025), and since drinking UCC Class One coffee is a part of my morning ritual nowadays, I’d like to talk about a legendary YouTube video that has stuck with me since 2010. It’s a video so memorably epic that I always remember it when I drink black coffee (or any caffeinated drink, for that matter).

I’m talking about the video titled “Dave Grohl in FRESH POTS!”