celebrate – The Diary of The Deranged Writer

Notes to Self XXVI

If you have been reading The Diary since last year (2025), you’re aware of my gratitude for the many recent glimpses of hope. Honestly, one of those glimpses that made me keep going is feeling something special for someone. I swear: I haven’t felt like this in years.

And today, the eve of St. Valentine’s Day, in celebration of all forms of love a day early, I would like to quote a few lines from one of my favorite love songs. I’m filing this under the Notes to Self category instead of the Song of the Moment category because these lines are not only etched in my heart but also in my mind.

From Afar

Getting your well-deserved promotion
Exploring the mysterious yet exciting world
I wish I could say I’m happy for you
But I can only be joyful for you from afar

The loss of someone important to you
A rejection that breaks your heart
I wish I could be there for you
But I can only be sad for you from afar

An intimate party with the ones you love
A massive show with you as the main star
I hope I can be glorious with you
But I can only say cheers to you from afar

All of these scenarios running in my mind
I’m uncertain if they happened or not
I only have these alternate trajectories
While I’m sure you’re enjoying life from afar

Then one day, the universe gave an answer
One alternate trajectory turned reality
One day, I walked and enjoyed the quiet
Then I saw you from afar

Your smile was beaming, beautiful as ever
Enjoying a meal with the ones you love
Our bond’s end shattered my world
But now I’m happy for you from afar

I have to live with the bittersweet truth:
My absence led to your happiness
So, even if it breaks my heart
I have to grow old with you from afar

Header image: Nazila Azimzada of Pexels. Edited in Adobe Photoshop 2025.

Song of the Moment C: Foo Fighters’ “Run”

I’ve had many right-song-at-the-right-time moments lately, from hearing Saya’s “Natsu Shigure” during a rainy walk to my favorite cafe last June to hearing the opening theme of Person of Interest (my all-time favorite show) when I typed the exact title during a recent online conversation. As a music fan, I truly love those perfectly-timed moments.

Today, I finally recovered from two weeks of muscle pain and coughing. (Violently coughing at night is not a good experience at all. And I can really feel the aging now. Damn.) Thanks to resting, drinking The Angel’s Cup (which is basically hot honey/citron/ginger tea), and listening more to mellow music, now I’m feeling great physically, and I went back just in time for work. The first thing I did upon my return: open my laptop, open my Spotify app, and look for my favorite songs list (which consists of songs from various genres and music acts). I was curious if the universe and Spotify would deliver at least one perfectly-timed song, so I hit shuffle again.