anxious – The Diary of The Deranged Writer

Song of the Moment XCIV: The Cranberries’ “Zombie”

I felt a bit anxious today, a Sunday, so I attended Mass on my own and I went to my favorite cafe to relax. I ordered the usual (and comforting) affogato and continued reading The Storyteller: Tales of Life and Music, a book by my hero Dave Grohl. (Yes, I did say “my hero”, a reference to the Foo Fighters classic! Also, this is my second time reading the book, and I’m about to finish it by tomorrow.)

And for once, while I was reading, I didn’t listen to music through my phone. Tonight, I relied on the cafe’s vinyl player, and it played many songs from The Cranberries. The song that stood out for me is the iconic “Zombie”. It has been a long time since I heard “Zombie”, and hearing it brought me back to the time when cassette tapes were the norm and when the only source of stress for me was homework. Memories. And that’s why it’s my Song of the Moment.

The music video of The Cranberries’ “Zombie”.

Anyway, tomorrow is September 1. That means it’s the start of Christmas season in the Philippines. Exciting times!

See you in the next post!

Header image: Suzy Hazelwood of Pexels. Edited in Adobe Photoshop 2025.

Updated on September 3, 2025.

XX: Another Fight With Anxiety, Another Night of Reminiscing

Trigger warning: Anxiety. Please be advised.

30-Minute Warning XII

I’m supposed to do a 10-Minute Warning post, but I’m so tired from all the walking today. Why am I tired? I checked all my possible birthday venues around Kapitolyo in 1 afternoon.

1st option: I found this bar that can accommodate 30 to 50 people, has an awesome menu, and offers an affordable bar guarantee. The problem is that there are other people who want to reserve the bar on my actual birthday, and I need to make a downpayment at least this weekend so I can reserve the bar right away.

Second option: I dropped by a venue where I celebrated my 31st birthday with my family and friends of my Mother. They have 2 event packages that I can afford (coughs): (1) the 2nd floor where they can accommodate a maximum of 30 people and (2) the alfresco where they can accommodate a maximum of 25 people. I remember having a great dinner there on the ground floor – probably one of the best birthday dinners I had so far. But here are my problems: I can hear the music from the ground floor, the 2nd floor looks less spacious, and the alfresco looks a bit lifeless.

Third option: Well… this is not part of the initial list. But there is this karaoke bar near Kapitolyo that can accommodate 30 people and it has almost the same bar guarantee as the 1st option. But I don’t think everyone on my guest list will sing there.

Speaking of guest lists, I’m starting to ask my friends if they are available on my birthday, and a few of them have replied already. And my choice of venue will depend on the number of people who will attend the party.

Anyway, after checking the venues, I went straight to Satchmi and had a spaghetti al pesto and iced tea. After a productive day and a great hangout at my favorite cafe, I feel tired but good.

But crap… I’m starting to feel anxious right now because of something… something that looked like I have done but I didn’t before going home… I need to relax.

Header image: PhotoMIX Company of Pexels. Edited in Adobe Photoshop 2022.