anxiety – Page 4 – The Diary of The Deranged Writer

10-Minute Warning CL

What can I write here under 10 minutes?

I need to get this off my chest: I give up. I can’t force myself to blog twice or thrice today to reach my blog count for October 2024. A part of my mind wants to push myself, but I’ve been so mentally unwell lately that it also affected my physical health. My entire being is so weak. That is also why I didn’t go for a walk/jog even if I promised to work out more.

But even if I’m physically and mentally healthy, I can’t blog twice or thrice in one day. I wish I was a writing machine, but I’m not. I’m only human and I can only blog once a day. I was also planning on blogging for 14 days from November 22 to my birthday December 5 (just like what I did in 2023), but in my current weak state, I’m worried that I might fail again like how I failed this September and October 2024.

Fuck this shit.

XVI: A Few More Fights with Anxiety

Trigger warning: Anxiety. Please be advised.

Earlier today I published a new 10-Minute Warning post about my recent anxiety attacks, but when I read it again, I had to unpublish it because I mixed a lot of details in order. Writing about what happened in 10 minutes is a mistake. Sorry about that.

Now, I will need more than 10 minutes to explain everything properly.

30-Minute Warning XXX

An update on my mental health: After finishing work tasks early, getting rest, remembering my long-term and short-term plans, and starting Season 4 of my favorite show Person of Interest, I feel better now. If I do get anxious or depressed, I can handle it better.

However, as for my physical health, I feel a bit weak and my throat is so itchy. I drank my medicine already so my itchy throat does not become a full-on cough or (worse) a cold. I’m worried that I may skip my weekly affogato fix at my favorite spot if I don’t feel physically better this coming weekend.

What else? Oh… I mentioned that I’m now on Season 4 of Person of Interest. This is the show’s 2nd to the last season, and I’m sad knowing the end is almost near. But I can always turn that sadness around by re-watching Person of Interest again or watching another favorite series like Chuck or How I Met Your Mother.

Moving on, what are my plans that will keep me going? I can tell 1 plan: watching the upcoming R-rated superhero movie Deadpool & Wolverine with my brothers and cousins. I’m excited to see 2 of my favorite Marvel characters team up on the big screen! Deadpool & Wolverine, in Philippine cinemas July 24, 2024.

And… that’s about it for now. Happy hump day!

Header image: Pietro Jeng of Pexels. Edited in Adobe Photoshop 2024.