alternate – The Diary of The Deranged Writer

From Afar

Getting your well-deserved promotion
Exploring the mysterious yet exciting world
I wish I could say I’m happy for you
But I can only be joyful for you from afar

The loss of someone important to you
A rejection that breaks your heart
I wish I could be there for you
But I can only be sad for you from afar

An intimate party with the ones you love
A massive show with you as the main star
I hope I can be glorious with you
But I can only say cheers to you from afar

All of these scenarios running in my mind
I’m uncertain if they happened or not
I only have these alternate trajectories
While I’m sure you’re enjoying life from afar

Then one day, the universe gave an answer
One alternate trajectory turned reality
One day, I walked and enjoyed the quiet
Then I saw you from afar

Your smile was beaming, beautiful as ever
Enjoying a meal with the ones you love
Our bond’s end shattered my world
But now I’m happy for you from afar

I have to live with the bittersweet truth:
My absence led to your happiness
So, even if it breaks my heart
I have to grow old with you from afar

Header image: Nazila Azimzada of Pexels. Edited in Adobe Photoshop 2025.

X: From 2023 to 2024 (A Year-End Post) I

At exactly 12am on December 2023, I started writing my year-end post while finishing my 2nd Jack and Coke. I made an outline of all the good and bad things that happened in my year 2023, and then I started fleshing out what I outlined.

While I was writing the almost middle of the post, I yawned. I said to myself, “Crap. I feel tired. I’m supposed to finish this post.” But then I decided not to fight the sleepiness, so I hopped on the couch and napped.

5 minutes later, I woke up, and my laptop was off. I didn’t turn off my laptop.

And then I heard a voice. “Hi, Dewey.”

I looked up and I saw myself – a version of myself, that is. He is The Deranged Writer of 2008.