14 Days of The Deranged Writer – Page 8 – The Diary of The Deranged Writer

10-Minute Warning LXXXVI

So, what can I share under 10 minutes?

As I said in the previous post, I’m depressed and I’m feeling the birthday blues. Whenever I’m depressed, it’s either (1) I dwell in the darkness or (2) I distract myself so I can feel at least a bit better. Today, I did option number 2.

So, what did I do today to distract myself? I took a longer, colder bath to be more awake without drinking caffeine. I had a healthy plate of pineapple chicken for brunch. I went to church with my Mother and cousin Risa. After hearing Mass, I dropped by Paskomiket and bought a Dave Ghorl sticker (not a typo) from one of my favorite Filipino comic book artists Mr. Toto Madayag (creator of Libreng Komiks). I also had a small but fun conversation with Mr. Madayag. After that, I had some snacks at Pound with my Mother, cousin Risa, Uncle Don, Aunt Grace, and their daughter Sofi. And finally, Elder Brother bought me and Risa some Oreo cheesecake milk tea.

Now that today is ending as I’m typing this, how am I now? Thanks to my church time, the Dave Ghorl sticker, my chat with Mr. Madayag, our small family snack time, and Elder Brother’s milk tea treat, I feel a bit better. It’s not the “much better” feeling I should be having before my birthday, but at least I’m getting there.

And oh! One of my friends whom I invited to my birthday party just replied. She’s available on my birthday. I’m so happy! Yes!

VII: The Start of Another Birthday Blues

Trigger warning: Depression. Please be advised.

Tonight my Father asked me how I was – something he rarely does. I replied, “I’m OK.”

Yes, that sounds like my default response, “I’m OK. I’m not happy. I’m not sad. I’m just OK.” But the truth is I lied. I’m sad. I’m depressed. I’m so depressed that I slept at 5am after gulping an ice-cold Jack and Coke while watching Batman: The Animated Series on Netflix. At one point in my binge-watching, I broke down and cried. The last time I felt this depressed was in 2019. (That’s a story for another time.)

And why am I depressed? It’s the birthday blues. Let me explain…

30-Minute Warning XII

I’m supposed to do a 10-Minute Warning post, but I’m so tired from all the walking today. Why am I tired? I checked all my possible birthday venues around Kapitolyo in 1 afternoon.

1st option: I found this bar that can accommodate 30 to 50 people, has an awesome menu, and offers an affordable bar guarantee. The problem is that there are other people who want to reserve the bar on my actual birthday, and I need to make a downpayment at least this weekend so I can reserve the bar right away.

Second option: I dropped by a venue where I celebrated my 31st birthday with my family and friends of my Mother. They have 2 event packages that I can afford (coughs): (1) the 2nd floor where they can accommodate a maximum of 30 people and (2) the alfresco where they can accommodate a maximum of 25 people. I remember having a great dinner there on the ground floor – probably one of the best birthday dinners I had so far. But here are my problems: I can hear the music from the ground floor, the 2nd floor looks less spacious, and the alfresco looks a bit lifeless.

Third option: Well… this is not part of the initial list. But there is this karaoke bar near Kapitolyo that can accommodate 30 people and it has almost the same bar guarantee as the 1st option. But I don’t think everyone on my guest list will sing there.

Speaking of guest lists, I’m starting to ask my friends if they are available on my birthday, and a few of them have replied already. And my choice of venue will depend on the number of people who will attend the party.

Anyway, after checking the venues, I went straight to Satchmi and had a spaghetti al pesto and iced tea. After a productive day and a great hangout at my favorite cafe, I feel tired but good.

But crap… I’m starting to feel anxious right now because of something… something that looked like I have done but I didn’t before going home… I need to relax.

Header image: PhotoMIX Company of Pexels. Edited in Adobe Photoshop 2022.