14 Days of The Deranged Writer (2023) – Page 2 – The Diary of The Deranged Writer

10-Minute Warning LXXXVII

Today, I would like to say only one thing: It’s already Monday and I still cannot believe that CM Punk is back in WWE.

CM Punk returned to WWE at the Survivor Series: WarGames (2023). I’m still in shock.

As I said in the previous post, I’m depressed and I’m feeling the birthday blues. Whenever I’m depressed, it’s either (1) I dwell in the darkness or (2) I distract myself so I can feel at least a bit better. Today, I did option number 2.

So, what did I do today to distract myself? I took a longer, colder bath to be more awake without drinking caffeine. I had a healthy plate of pineapple chicken for brunch. I went to church with my Mother and cousin Risa. After hearing Mass, I dropped by Paskomiket and bought a Dave Ghorl sticker (not a typo) from one of my favorite Filipino comic book artists Mr. Toto Madayag (creator of Libreng Komiks). I also had a small but fun conversation with Mr. Madayag. After that, I had some snacks at Pound with my Mother, cousin Risa, Uncle Don, Aunt Grace, and their daughter Sofi. And finally, Elder Brother bought me and Risa some Oreo cheesecake milk tea.

Now that today is ending as I’m typing this, how am I now? Thanks to my church time, the Dave Ghorl sticker, my chat with Mr. Madayag, our small family snack time, and Elder Brother’s milk tea treat, I feel a bit better. It’s not the “much better” feeling I should be having before my birthday, but at least I’m getting there.

And oh! One of my friends whom I invited to my birthday party just replied. She’s available on my birthday. I’m so happy! Yes!

VII: The Start of Another Birthday Blues

Trigger warning: Depression. Please be advised.

Tonight my Father asked me how I was – something he rarely does. I replied, “I’m OK.”

Yes, that sounds like my default response, “I’m OK. I’m not happy. I’m not sad. I’m just OK.” But the truth is I lied. I’m sad. I’m depressed. I’m so depressed that I slept at 5am after gulping an ice-cold Jack and Coke while watching Batman: The Animated Series on Netflix. At one point in my binge-watching, I broke down and cried. The last time I felt this depressed was in 2019. (That’s a story for another time.)

And why am I depressed? It’s the birthday blues. Let me explain…