reconnection – The Diary of The Deranged Writer

Another Conversation Among Deranged Writers II: Notes to Self XXXII

2019

One humid yet emotionally cold afternoon, I was missing someone more than usual, even though it had been months since our bridge burned. And then I remembered it was that person’s birthday. I thought it wouldn’t hurt to send a simple, casual greeting for the occasion, so I pulled my phone, quickly texted it, and went on with my normally depressing day.

Past midnight, after pigging out on my third plate of baked macaroni in four hours, I took my nightly medicine and dozed off. There, I was teleported to a part of dreamland I’d never been before, and I’m a pretty vivid dreamer. I entered this almost-vast coliseum-like courtroom with chains covering the ceiling, and people were in their chairs like confident judges. After a minute, my eyes became much clearer: the ones in their seats were alternate versions of me.

30-Minute Warning XIX

Oh, God. Today is Saturday, March 9, 2024. What can I even share here under 30 minutes after drinking highball glasses of 6 Jack and Cokes?

Well, should I even share something right now after getting some liquid courage? I do not know. Right now, I am listening to War’s “Why Can We Be Friends?” more than once – something I usually do when I want to reconnect with an old friend I had a fallout with. And right now, I am also waiting for my Younger Brother to come home. Usually, he sobers up before going home, and I am sure he will keep his word. I will sleep after he comes home.

Speaking of that old friend, will I even have that reconnection? I have been praying for that reconnection for years, but will it even happen? I have been praying for it so hard yet I feel like giving up… but damn. Should I give up? My soul tells me otherwise.

What else? Oh, I am not sure if I should make my own blog featured image for this post. Maybe I should? Maybe I should. But right now, I am too drunk to click and open my Adobe Photoshop, and I am so sure tonight is the 1st time I have drank more than 5 glasses of Jack and Coke. Maybe I should just upload the image after I post this.

Again, what else? Right. My hair is full of oil-based bubble-gum-scented pomade right now, and I started washing it with hot water before I had my 1st glass of Jack and Coke last night. I need to wash my hair 2 or 3 more times so I can tell that my hair is pomade-free – and right now, that will happen this Sunday. Oh, well.

And time’s up.