Tiny Glimpses

In this whole wide darkness
I’m shedding tears with little progress
I bleed with huge burdens
My mind with uncertainty stirred in

In this whole wide darkness
I’m craving for the total catharsis
I desire to let go
all gods are watching and in the know

In this whole wide darkness
Untether from the pain regardless
Eyes closed, one heavy breath
The self about to court with Lady Death

In this whole wide darkness
oh, the edge of eternal stillness
then there’s a distraction
or rather a vibrant attraction

In this whole wide darkness
My eyesight is in total sharpness
All the stars, all light up
There they are, my beloved backup

In this whole wide darkness
A friend’s quote serve as my harness
“In this whole wide darkness,
focus on the tiniest glimpses.”

In this whole wide darkness
People, passions lead to happiness
Feed me your energy
so I can constraint this misery

In this whole wide darkness
Monsters who make me so breathless
All light and power aligned
Restraining orders I have signed

In this whole wide darkness
there is no more feeling hopeless
maybe temporary
but the next time I am ready

In this whole wide darkness
the world in its purest harshness
but the stars up my head
the blackest night I must not dread  Ω

Notes to Self VIII

“You can’t antagonize and evangelize at the same time.”

— Mama Tammye, Queer Eye (2018)[1] (Season 2, Episode 1)

In the “Notes to Self” series, I write down words my mind and heart should fully remember. And of all my entries to this series so far, this should be on everyone’s minds and hearts, especially the religious.

In a world full of faithful folks and even political figures who twist their bible verses to justify their hate for the LGBTQ+ community, the quote from Mama Tammye (that I learned an hour before I started writing this) is really socially relevant and is so heartwarming to hear. A beautiful African-American church lady from Gay, Georgia is preaching her Lord Jesus’ commandment to “love one another, as He loves them”, and that includes gays like her son, whom she has not spoken for quite a long time. Even if it took years for Mama Tammye to accept her son for who he really is, the important thing is now she truly loves him unconditionally. And if only more people are like Mama Tammye, the world will be a better place to live in.

Damn it, Fab 5. Why did you make me cry again?


1 – Queer Eye is a Netflix original series and a reboot of the  series Queer Eye for the Straight Guy (2007). With a completely different Fab 5 (Antoni Porowski [food and wine]; Tan France [fashion]; Karamo Brown, [culture]; Bobby Berk [design] and Jonathan Van Ness [grooming]), a different location, but with the same charm and fun vibe that made the first Queer Eye series successful, it is one of the reality series I would actually watch and recommend to everyone.

Image credit: Queer Eye/Netflix (2018)