progress – Page 2 – The Diary of The Deranged Writer

Notes to Self XV

It’s almost a week after New Year’s Day, and my past several days have been memorable. But I don’t want to blog about all of them at once. Why? I just finished my first workout of 2025.

One of my resolutions this year is to keep exercising as much as I want to keep writing in my journal and here on The Diary. Today, I restarted my fitness journey by following Body Project’s 30-minute fat-burning beginner workout. And in the first few minutes, Mr. Daniel Bartlett (the coach in the video) reminded me that I could pick my place in the workout. I can pause, catch my breath, and keep marching in place if I can’t do the workout. But because I truly wanted to push myself, I followed how Mr. Bartlett works out exactly… and then my legs shook and I was breathing heavily. (And this is from following a low-impact workout. It has been so long since I had a proper workout other than walking and jogging.) I just had to pause, rest for a while, and gain the energy to exercise again.

And when I finally gained that energy back, I played the video again and Mr. Bartlett said something that hit a nail in my head. This is my 15th Notes to Self.

10-Minute Warning LV

So, what happened in my life today?

I did my morning rituals, I did a little bit of work, then I had lunch, and then I had my therapy session. I was supposed to have my therapy session last week, but it got rescheduled a few times, and then it finally happened today.

One of the things I shared with my doctor was my desire to plan my birthday party, and then she told me that I had grown so much in the past year. From surrounding myself in the darkness, now I want to celebrate life. And I didn’t notice that comparison until my doctor said so. Sure, I still dwell in the darkness every once in a while, but… wow. Cheers to progress, self!

Then tonight I had a BLT for dinner at my favorite spot Satchmi, and then suddenly I watched DC’s Blue Beetle. Frankly speaking, I enjoyed it more than The Flash. I might watch it again – hopefully with a friend or a family member.

Crap. I’m walking on the sidewalk right now and it’s starting to rain. I have to go.

10-Minute Warning II

Okay. So, what can I type in ten minutes after drinking six highball glasses of Jack and Coke in under an hour?

It’s been a long time since my last steady relationship, and I want to say this on The Diary: I don’t deserve a breakup email. I may have made mistakes, and any form of breakup is awful, but come on. A breakup email? Fuck that shit.

In other news, why did I drink six glasses of Jack and Coke tonight? Because I want to. Since 2022, I promised to drink my favorite Jack and Coke every week, but I only drank four glasses last January. Last week I drank four glasses, and tonight I drank six. So, that’s ten glasses of Jack and Coke this February. My therapist will kill me because of the more-than-a-fuckload consumption of my favorite drink. But come on. Let me live a little.

Speaking of my therapist, my last actual session was last July 2022. Is the date of my last session a sign of progress? Some of my friends think so. But I think it’s weird. Almost seven months? I should check up on my therapist via email. Soon. Maybe not tonight. Maybe tomorrow. I’m so drunk as hell right now.

And time’s up.

Header image: Marcin Dampc of Pexels. Edited in Adobe Photoshop 2022.

Updated on April 15, 2026 for clarity.