Recently, I have been receiving so much light in the form of good deeds and happy moments (e.g., the recent Foo Fighters show, meeting my new friend, and my happiest birthday yet), and that generous amount of light makes me feel good.
But what’s better than receiving? It’s giving, especially the altruistic kind.
This is my 22nd Notes to Self.
Continue reading Notes to Self XXIISince 2019, December 1 has become a haunting day. It reminded me of a ghost from a failed relationship, and I easily see ghosts through specific dates, photographs, and even songs. For a few years, I had to endure the pain of seeing those ghosts, especially on December 1.
In 2022, I took it upon myself to make December 1 a less sad day. Not happy; less sad. I kept myself busy. I greeted an uncle who is also a December 1 celebrant. I numbed myself with alcohol. I kept myself busy some more. And in doing all of those things, somehow they work, even if I still see that particular ghost.
But today, December 1, 2025, many happy moments have happened. At midnight, I was sharing laughs with an online friend (once again) about the most ridiculously unhinged professional wrestler of all time, “Big Poppa Pump” Scott Steiner. This morning, I woke up early, and I had some lovely FRESH POTS that energized my body and soul. I was able to accomplish the work tasks that I could do before I went running errands. After those errands, I had a fresh haircut and a satisfying massage. And now I’m having my thirst-quenching iced tea at my favorite cafe. I will absolutely have dinner here as well.
But the happiest part of the day? It’s talking to my new friend. It feels nice getting to know more about a gentle, kind soul.
It’s 6:00pm as I type this entry, but thanks to all those moments today, for the first time in years, I can declare that December 1 is a happy day. In fact, December 1, 2025, is the happiest December 1 of my life. Yes, the ghosts are still there, but they don’t haunt me anymore. The light I have been feeling lately outweighs the dark.
Four more days to go before my birthday, December 5!
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A part of 14 Days of The Deranged Writer (2025).
Header image: Marta Dzedyshko of Pexels. Edited in Adobe Photoshop 2025.
Tonight, I really don’t want to write another Minute Warning post; I’m supposed to publish a new Watch post. The upcoming post is about a famous YouTube video related to my hero, Dave Grohl. But when I was drafting, I got a message from someone I met recently, and I must admit: getting messages from her is the highlight of my day.
Pardon me, my readers… oh, right. Pardon me, my only reader. Thanks to her, this Minute Warning post is all you get tonight. But at least my shadow heart is feeling a different kind of light, a comforting kind of light. And trust me on this: that’s something I haven’t felt in a long time.
Anyway, about my birthday plans: it’s exactly a week to go before my special day, and finally I have the day planned out! I’m going to my favorite cafe, and plan the next year ahead by writing in my new Moleskine daily planner. I will also have lunch there, plus I will drink my favorite affogato in the whole world. After that, I might look for a Blokees Deadpool figure at the nearest toy store. (Though I’m not sure if I’ll buy one.) And in the main event, I will meet my family and two of my closest friends at a modern Filipino restaurant, and we will have a glorious feast. (Take note: the restaurant is Michelin-certified.)
My ten minutes are not up yet, but that’s all I can say for now. See you in the next post, and happy weekend!
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A part of 14 Days of The Deranged Writer (2025).
Header image: Suvan Chowdhury of Pexels. Edited in Adobe Photoshop 2025.
Updated November 29, 2025.
The Diary of The Deranged Writer 