hope – Page 2 – The Diary of The Deranged Writer

Notes to Self XIII

This post is a part of 14 Days of The Deranged Writer (2024 edition).

Last night, after a stressful but productive day at work, I started watching the animated series Batman: The Brave and the Bold on Max (formerly HBO Max). I’m so happy to have a Max account now, and it is refreshing to see a not-so-dark knight fighting evil with his fellow heroes such as Blue Beetle, Green Arrow, and Aquaman.

And then I stumbled upon the Christmas episode “Invasion of the Secret Santas!” This is perfect because it’s already the holiday season, and after reading the synopsis, I got excited about the team-up. So, I watched the episode, and in the middle of it, Batman (my favorite superhero) said something that went straight through my heart.

This is my 13th Notes to Self.

Spoiler warning if you have not seen the Batman: The Brave and the Bold episode “Invasion of the Secret Santas!”

10-Minute Warning CXLII

All right. After 2 weeks of physical weakness and depression, I have gained the energy to finish work on time and now I want to walk and jog tonight. The energy may not be 100%, but it’s a start. I thank that cold brew this morning, my family, and my “lamp posts” for giving me the energy and hope today.

I learned a few years ago that whenever I’m in a depressive state, I should not rush to bounce back. I should rest and dwell in the darkness for a while. And then when I find my lamp posts and gain enough energy, that’s when I start to bounce back. And The Diary, I will let you know when I truly keep fighting.

That’s all I can share for today.

Written on September 26, 2024, 7:53pm. Published on September 27, 2024, 9:39pm. Minor edits were made at 11:25pm.

Header image: Marta Dzedyshko of Pexels. Edited in Adobe Photoshop 2024.

Song of the Moment XLVIII: Linkin Park’s “The Messenger” (Again)

Once again, Linkin Park’s “The Messenger” is my Song of the Moment. Why? It soothes my heart which has been aching for weeks, and I will need to listen to it more in the coming days.

When you’ve suffered enough and your spirit is breaking
You’re growing desperate from the fight
Remember you’re loved and you always will be
This melody will bring you right back homewa
Linkin Park’s “The Messenger”

Chester Bennington performs “The Messenger”. Credit: Hayleigh Thompson.

To my loved ones, I’m holding on. I’m really trying to hold on.