decisions – The Diary of The Deranged Writer

10-Minute Warning LXXX

As I’m typing this, I just finished watching Black Panther (a Marvel Cinematic Universe film starring the late great Chadwick Boseman) with my Mother and my Father. We are about to watch The Master (a martial arts film starring Jet Li), and I’m about to drink a can of Jack and Coke to kick off the weekend.

What are my plans for tomorrow? First, I will drop by my favorite cafe Satchmi and have an affogato while I update my journal. After that, I will go to the CCP complex with my Mother. My Youngest Brother will perform there in the afternoon with his bandmates, and we cannot wait to watch them.

What else? Oh, I need to decide on my birthday venue this weekend, and I will need my Younger Brother’s help. Or perhaps my entire family’s help. We will see about that. Hopefully I can start inviting my loved ones this coming week.

And time’s up.

Notes to Self IX

When it comes to choosing 3 or more options, I have a hard time deciding right away. But when it comes to choosing 2 options, there is a method that makes it easy.

This is my 9th Note to Self.

10-Minute Warning XXVIII

I have been feeling shitty for a week already. Thank you, my Dispatch and my journal, for making me remember to count the days. And today, that shitty feeling became worse because of something I did.

I can’t tell the long story, the specifics. All I can say is that I did something that is not really a big deal, but then I looked back at what I did and thought, “I think I fucked up.” I don’t know if (option A) my anxiety is just messing with me or (option B) if I truly fucked up. If I were to pick the lesser evil, I hope for option A.

I haven’t told my family about my current mental predicament. I may have told 2 friends about it. I think I should open up to my family soon – first, my brothers, and then my parents. I think they deserve to know.