May 1, 2008, on an episode of the professional wrestling television show, TNA Impact!, “Big Poppa Pump” Scott Steiner (the greatest mathematician in the whole multiverse) presented his greatest contribution to mathematics and human history: Steiner Math.
It made a huge impact (pun intended) in the world of pro wrestling because of how insane and mathematically inaccurate the entire promo was, and how loud, angry, and absolutely certain the Genetic Freak was when he delivered it. (Come to think of it, loud, angry, and absolutely certain are Mr. Steiner’s default settings.) Since then, it’s been a constantly laughable meme among fans. As for me, I mentioned the legendary monologue by the most unhinged professional wrestler when the Struggle with Steinermania series began, yet I think the promo itself deserves its own post. Why? The promo alone changed the way I think about math, numbers, and the English language itself, and when someone saw beyond the ridiculousness of it all, I also learned something profound.
The Video Itself
For the uninitiated, if you haven’t seen Steiner Math, you may play the video below… but be prepared to lose brain cells.
How’s your brain? Is it all right? Do you even understand the incredible knowledge Mr. Steiner has shared? I’m concerned for your well-being, believe me.
If I were to decipher the entire promo for everyone else to understand, here is what Big Poppa Pump said (properly typed, not in angry all-caps the way he likes it):
You know they say all men are created equal, but you look at me, and you look at Samoa Joe, and you can see that statement is not true!
See, normally if you go one-on-one with another wrestler, you got a 50/50 chance of winning. But I’m a genetic freak and I’m not normal! So you got a 25%, AT BEST, at beat me! Then you add Kurt Angle to the mix, your chances of winning drastic go down!
See, the three-way at Sacrifice, you got a 33 and third chance of winning. But I! I got a 66 and 2/3 chance of winning, because Kurt Angle KNOWS he can’t beat me, and he’s not even gonna try! So, Samoa Joe, you take your 33 and third chance, minus my 25% chance, and you got an 8 and a third chance of winning at Sacrifice!
But then you take my 75% chance of winning, if we was to go one on one, and then add 66 2/3 per cents, I got 141 2/3 chance of winning at Sacrifice!
See Joe, the numbers don’t lie, and they spell disaster for you at Sacrifice!
“Big Poppa Pump” Scott Steiner, TNA Impact!, May 1, 2008
After watching Scott Steiner’s Math promo for the first time, my mind was already blown by the ridiculous mathematical theorem Freakzilla had shared on tape, and I was already bad at math. I had no idea anyone could calculate winning probabilities like Professor Steiner does. (I mean, he concluded with 141 2/3. Who does that? Only the younger Steiner brother does.) I had no idea that I could have aced my College Algebra exam the same year if only I had added Kurt Angle to the mix. And most importantly, I had no idea that Mr. Steiner, the most deranged professional wrestler (yes, I said the word), would reach a whole new level of insane until I heard the promo.
The Lasting Effects
But I have to admit: Steiner Math made a more lasting impression when I watched it more often in 2016, eight years after the promo’s debut, and then every single day in 2025, the true beginning of my Steinermania becoming terminal. Now I couldn’t calculate even the most basic math properly without blanking out, snickering, having a diaphragm-hurting laugh, or all of the above. Sometimes I would also verbally reference the promo. An example:
Father: Son, please calculate half of this SRP.
Dewey: Oh, wait… is that… 66 2/3?
Father: It’s 50/50! Come on!
Dewey: 50/50… chance of winning. But I’m a genetic freak, and I’m not normal!
Father: What is wrong with you?!
Steiner Math also makes me howl whenever I encounter any of the numbers mentioned in the promo itself… or close enough. For example, whenever I order my favorite affogato at Oversight and use my PWD discount card, the price ends at 142. That’s eerily close to Mr. Steiner’s winning probability: 141 2/3%. Good grief. My Steinermania will never go away.
Steiner Math even warped my sense of time to the point that I forgot to post the tribute on the exact anniversary date, May 1, and there’s a reasonable explanation for that: in my Steinermania-infected brain, one week consists of nine days, not seven. “That doesn’t make any sense.” Yes, I know.
The Reactions
Steiner Math is very important; not only do I want to share my distorted knowledge with others, but I also have to. So far, the reactions I received are, to put it mildly, various.
The Average Reactions
Most of the people I tried to convert into Steiner Math followers reacted with laughter, confusion, or both. A few of them may have felt an existential crisis. Sorry about that. Here are some of the actual comments:
I blanked out when he started saying the percentages.
Vestra
His math checks out. I know because I skipped Statistics.
Margot
Now I’ll never be able to calculate proper math ever again.
Most of them
What the fuck did I just watched?
Some of them
Huh?!
Everyone else
Do I really have to explain their comments? No? I thought so.
The Outlier Reaction
And then there was an outlier in my “survey”, Ember. She didn’t react to the ridiculous numerical abuse Mr. Steiner had done; she reacted to his sheer conviction when he delivered the sacred codex.
There should be more confident people like him out there.
Indeed, Ember is an outlier, yet her comment makes total sense. Beneath the Genetic Freak’s anger and absurdity, there’s a certain confidence that’s weirdly inspiring. We couldn’t act as confidently as he does (and come on, we shouldn’t), but we should be just as confident in our own skills, in ourselves. And honestly, confidence is something I sorely lack, though I try to lessen the doubt in me by myself and by the words of encouragement from others. Now, not only is Scott Steiner one of my favorite professional wrestlers of all time, but he also became a confidence icon of mine.
Conclusion
Scott Steiner’s math promo has affected the world of professional wrestling and my own world as well. It gave me a reason to laugh like a madman while ruining my almost-nonexistent math skills in the process. And beneath the absurdity, the way Big Poppa Pump shouted his truth with testosterone-fueled anger is an inspiring story of confidence. It’s a ridiculous, unbelievable kind of confidence, but it’s real.
Also, Steiner Math is correct, universal, and eternal. The numbers don’t lie. Thank you, Big Poppa Pump, for your greatest contribution to the world.
HOLLA IF YA HEAR ME!!!
The Diary of The Deranged Writer 