Today is one of those days when I feel both physically and mentally tired. The scorching heat and this certain sadness since Saturday night drained most of my energy.
I would like to expound on the melancholy, but I’m really tired and I drank my nightly medicine 2 hours earlier. I hope I can bounce back tomorrow and write a more proper post this Wednesday.
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So, what can I share here in under 10 minutes?
What a tiring day. I woke up before 8am, and it was a forceful wake-up. But I had to wake up and do my morning routine quickly to join Mother and Father on their weekly visit to a significant client. After the said visit, I tried to take a nap in the car – something that I always fail at. (I have never had a satisfying car nap.)
The sleepy feeling somehow went away after having fried rice and dumplings for lunch. While we were eating, I found out that Mother and Father had a hard time sleeping last night. It looks like we are all having a good afternoon nap later… but I didn’t. At least my parents got their nap after coming home, and I’m happy for them.
As I type this, it’s exactly 11pm. The more I type this, the more I become sleepy. It’s weird because I haven’t taken my medicine yet. And speaking of medicine, I skipped my meds again last night because I ran out of them. I still feel a bit shitty after more than a week, and now I’m worried I will feel worse. Oops.
Let me sleep now.
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Let me cut to the chase. As I’m typing this now on mobile, I feel really sad. I don’t want to do anything rash or hurt myself. I’m simply sad.
I did everything to feel less sad today. I woke up early this morning. I ate breakfast and lunch on time. I helped in cleaning and taking out the trash. I updated my journal earlier than usual. I listened to the Foo Fighters’ new album But Here We Are for the nth time. And then I had my nightly walking/jogging at Three Trees. And after all that, the sadness is still there. It was lessened, but it is still there.
Perhaps I need to try harder to lessen the sorrow… or maybe stay in the darkness for a while until I’m ready to bounce back? We’ll see. I just hope I will become well tomorrow or any time this week. I truly hope.
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Header image: Dustin Tramel of Unsplash. Edited in Adobe Photoshop 2022.
The Diary of The Deranged Writer 