After a long day at work and finishing my nightly rituals, I just want to listen to my favorite music while I wait for my medicine to kick in. And I choose My Chemical Romance’s “I’m Not Okay (I Promise)” as my Song of the Moment because it is literally my song of the moment as I type this. Thank you, Spotify.
And don’t worry. I’m all right. In fact, I’m happy. I promise.
See you in the next post!
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Header image: Ann H of Pexels. Edited in Adobe Photoshop 2025.
OK. What should I share here in under 10 minutes?
Today at work, I had only a few tasks, and I finished them with ease. It has been weeks since the last time I only had a handful of workload, and I’m relieved.
So, work’s over, my parents ran many errands, and I’m all alone in the house. What should I do?
Then the sadness started to sink in. I can feel this is the kind of melancholy that I experienced almost a month ago—alone in the house, with my thoughts, and with or without my favorite Jack & Coke Zero. And usually, when I feel this kind of sadness, I would just dwell on it but I would also not do anything rash.
But today, I did not feel like drifting in the darkness for long. Instead, I watched a few films on Netflix: Back in Action (a spy action comedy film starring Jamie Foxx and Cameron Diaz) and all of two Extraction films (starring Chris Hemsworth as mercenary Tyler Rake.) The impromptu movie marathon (plus the sirens I heard that reminded me of the greatest mathematician of all time, Scott Steiner) distracted me from the sadness.
In other news: I’m really tempted to have my favorite Jack & Coke Zero tonight, but I need to resist. Drinking said drink is my Friday night ritual, and I don’t want to ruin that. Not tonight at least.
…and my time’s almost up. See you in the next post.
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OK. What can I tell here in under 10 minutes?
Since April 29, I have been trying to sleep and wake up early. Truly. I have been drinking my nightly medicine at 9pm, and it helped me sleep early. But the downside of drinking my nightly medicine is that I sleep longer than I want to. Sometimes, when I drink my meds at 9pm, I also wake up at 9am. Sometimes, I drink my meds at 9pm, and I wake up early… but I feel dazed and confused after. That’s insane.
I feel like my body got used to sleeping more because of the meds, and as much as I love sleeping for longer hours (and I quote my therapist once again, “sleep is medicine”), I want to go back to the normal 8-9 hours of proper sleep. I need to talk to my therapist about adjusting the medicine intake soon.
In the meantime, I drank my nightly medicine at 8:30pm. Will this work? I will see about that. I don’t feel slee… oh, there you go. My fingers are getting numb now. See you in the next post.
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The Diary of The Deranged Writer 