Tag: pain

From Afar

Getting your well-deserved promotion
Exploring the mysterious yet exciting world
I wish I could say I’m happy for you
But I can only be joyful for you from afar

The loss of someone important to you
A rejection that breaks your heart
I wish I could be there for you
But I can only be sad for you from afar

An intimate party with the ones you love
A massive show with you as the main star
I hope I can be glorious with you
But I can only say cheers to you from afar

All of these scenarios running in my mind
I’m uncertain if they happened or not
I only have these alternate trajectories
While I’m sure you’re enjoying life from afar

Then one day, the universe gave an answer
One alternate trajectory turned reality
One day, I walked and enjoyed the quiet
Then I saw you from afar

Your smile was beaming, beautiful as ever
Enjoying a meal with the ones you love
Our bond’s end shattered my world
But now I’m happy for you from afar

I have to live with the bittersweet truth:
My absence led to your happiness
So, even if it breaks my heart
I have to grow old with you from afar

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Header image: Nazila Azimzada of Pexels. Edited in Adobe Photoshop 2025.

10-Minute Warning CXCIV

What I truly dislike is when people tell me not to cry.

I’m quite aware that not every problem can be fixed, and everyone makes mistakes. But whether that problem can be fixed, or I end up crying over spilled milk, I should be allowed to shed tears. I learned a long time ago that I can’t just bottle up my sorrow and anger, and I need to express myself (not in a destructive way, of course) to feel catharsis, to feel better. To certain people, why am I not allowed to cry?

If I’m not allowed to cry in a place that I thought to be safe, fuck that shit. Maybe I should look for a safer space elsewhere. And if I can’t find another safe space, it’s a good thing I have The Diary.

One more day before my birthday.

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A part of 14 Days of The Deranged Writer (2025).

Header image: Hans of Pixabay. Edited in Adobe Photoshop 2025.

Song of the Moment CII: Piano Project’s “Hurt” (A Johnny Cash/Nine Inch Nails Cover)

Last November 19, at night, after enjoying a refreshingly hot Earl Grey tea while sitting in Oversight, I walked around the nearby business district, and I saw all the buildings and lamp posts decorated with Christmas lights. For the first time in years, I felt the Christmas spirit early. It must be because I have had a long streak of happy moments lately, and seeing those bright Christmas decorations and feeling the holiday cheer early is another win for me. At that moment, I felt like I had won 21 straight wins at WrestleMania like The Undertaker did.

Then, as I continued walking, I decided to listen to something I discovered on Spotify two weeks ago: Piano Project’s cover of “Hurt” (Johnny Cash’s cover of the Nine Inch Nails song).

Side note: Two mentions of the word “cover” in one sentence. Damn.

Piano Project’s cover of “Hurt”.

Anyway, I may have had many happy memories lately, but I admit there are still a few demons and ghosts left. But I decided to listen to the hauntingly beautiful piano cover of “Hurt” during my late-night stroll, not out of pain; I need to listen to “Hurt” to be calm and grounded.

I have experienced so many joyful moments lately, and it’s been a total pleasure looking back at them… but I don’t want to get stuck on cloud nine. If I do that, I might lose sight of reality, and if that happens, I wouldn’t be able to achieve my goals (long-term or short-term, present and future) and create more happy moments. Thanks to Piano Project’s cover of “Hurt”, that calmness was achieved, and I feel grounded on earth again. I walked around the district with “Hurt” on repeat, clearer eyes, a refueled soul, and a gleeful heart, and then I ended the hour of wandering with these words:

Onto the next mission.

And that is why Piano Project’s cover of Johnny Cash’s version of “Hurt” is my Song of the Moment.

See you in the next post.

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A part of 14 Days of The Deranged Writer (2025).

Header image: Jonathan Meyer of Pexels. Edited in Adobe Photoshop 2025.

Updated on November 25, 2025.