online – The Diary of The Deranged Writer

XLI: The Return of Light in December 1

Since 2019, December 1 has become a haunting day. It reminded me of a ghost from a failed relationship, and I easily see ghosts through specific dates, photographs, and even songs. For a few years, I had to endure the pain of seeing those ghosts, especially on December 1.

In 2022, I took it upon myself to make December 1 a less sad day. Not happy; less sad. I kept myself busy. I greeted an uncle who is also a December 1 celebrant. I numbed myself with alcohol. I kept myself busy some more. And in doing all of those things, somehow they work, even if I still see that particular ghost.

But today, December 1, 2025, many happy moments have happened. At midnight, I was sharing laughs with an online friend (once again) about the most ridiculously unhinged professional wrestler of all time, “Big Poppa Pump” Scott Steiner. This morning, I woke up early, and I had some lovely FRESH POTS that energized my body and soul. I was able to accomplish the work tasks that I could do before I went running errands. After those errands, I had a fresh haircut and a satisfying massage. And now I’m having my thirst-quenching iced tea at my favorite cafe. I will absolutely have dinner here as well.

But the happiest part of the day? It’s talking to my new friend. It feels nice getting to know more about a gentle, kind soul.

It’s 6:00pm as I type this entry, but thanks to all those moments today, for the first time in years, I can declare that December 1 is a happy day. In fact, December 1, 2025, is the happiest December 1 of my life. Yes, the ghosts are still there, but they don’t haunt me anymore. The light I have been feeling lately outweighs the dark.

Four more days to go before my birthday, December 5!

A part of 14 Days of The Deranged Writer (2025).

Header image: Marta Dzedyshko of Pexels. Edited in Adobe Photoshop 2025.

10-Minute Warning CXL

I’m becoming more forgetful recently, even if I write a lot online or offline.

For example, I left my home and had an affogato at my favorite spot tonight. Before I started drinking and writing, I took out the box containing my wireless earphones, and the right part of my earphones was not there. I feel bad about myself for a minute because I usually check out my everyday carry before I leave home. And I had to listen to only 1 earphone while writing.

The good news is that my Mother found the right part of my earphones and I got it upon arriving home. But the bad news is, well, I’m becoming more forgetful. I need to be more mindful about my belongings.

I have another example of me becoming more forgetful nowadays, but my time is up tonight.

30-Minute Warning XIV

So, what can I share here under 30 minutes?

Yes, I promised myself to make the year-end post today, and I started writing it at 12am. But honestly, until now I’m still not finished. I give up. I can’t force myself to finish the post today. It’s New Year’s Eve, for crying out loud. I’m supposed to be in a festive mood today. And I’m only human; I make mistakes. A lot of mistakes.

Right now I’m at my favorite spot Satchmi, updating my journal. I promised myself to write more online and offline this coming 2024, so I’m starting today. And I’m supposed to have an affogato today, New Year’s Eve (my year-end tradition), but unfortunately they ran out of ice cream. Instead I ordered an iced mocha. Still refreshing and energizing. With that, I need to change my year-end tradition a bit: end the year with any caffeinated drink at my favorite cafe, not just an affogato.

Today, I might buy a new smartphone so I can pursue my content creation plans this coming year. Might. I don’t know. I want a new phone, but I don’t know. Should I even? What do you think?

Anyway, let me end this post with this: To everyone, have a happy 2024 and beyond!