love – Page 4 – The Diary of The Deranged Writer

XLI: The Return of Light in December 1

Since 2019, December 1 has become a haunting day. It reminded me of a ghost from a failed relationship, and I easily see ghosts through specific dates, photographs, and even songs. For a few years, I had to endure the pain of seeing those ghosts, especially on December 1.

In 2022, I took it upon myself to make December 1 a less sad day. Not happy; less sad. I kept myself busy. I greeted an uncle who is also a December 1 celebrant. I numbed myself with alcohol. I kept myself busy some more. And in doing all of those things, somehow they work, even if I still see that particular ghost.

But today, December 1, 2025, many happy moments have happened. At midnight, I was sharing laughs with an online friend (once again) about the most ridiculously unhinged professional wrestler of all time, “Big Poppa Pump” Scott Steiner. This morning, I woke up early, and I had some lovely FRESH POTS that energized my body and soul. I was able to accomplish the work tasks that I could do before I went running errands. After those errands, I had a fresh haircut and a satisfying massage. And now I’m having my thirst-quenching iced tea at my favorite cafe. I will absolutely have dinner here as well.

But the happiest part of the day? It’s talking to my new friend. It feels nice getting to know more about a gentle, kind soul.

It’s 6:00pm as I type this entry, but thanks to all those moments today, for the first time in years, I can declare that December 1 is a happy day. In fact, December 1, 2025, is the happiest December 1 of my life. Yes, the ghosts are still there, but they don’t haunt me anymore. The light I have been feeling lately outweighs the dark.

Four more days to go before my birthday, December 5!

A part of 14 Days of The Deranged Writer (2025).

Header image: Marta Dzedyshko of Pexels. Edited in Adobe Photoshop 2025.

Song of the Moment CIII: Richard Sanderson’s “Reality”

Last Monday, while I was doing my Monday ritual at Oversight, I heard this dreamy Beatles-like song. Because I was drained from all the writing/planning, and I sought temporary calm, I had to stop writing, stop drinking my favorite affogato, and then listen to the lyrics.

Then, these words pull at my heartstrings because they remind me of a new friend:

Met you by surprise
I didn’t realize
That my life would change
Forever

At that moment, I had to pull out my phone, open the Shazam app, and place it near the cafe’s speaker like I was force-cloning a phone ala John Reese of Person of Interest.

After further research, I finally learned the title, the artist, and where the song was featured. It’s “Reality” by Richard Sanderson (which was composed by Vladimir Cosma for the 1980 French teenage romantic comedy film La Boum). Thanks to modern technology and to my favorite cafe for playing the song, I found a new favorite love song, a theme song about my new friend, and my Song of the Moment.

Richard Sanderson’s “Reality”.

This deserves a special Listen post, but for now, let me listen to it on repeat and just dream.

See you in the next post.

A part of 14 Days of The Deranged Writer (2025).

Header image: Dzenina Lukac of Pexels. Edited in Adobe Photoshop 2025.

Song of the Moment CI: Foo Fighters’ “Everlong (Acoustic)” (Again)

It’s been a few days since my family and I arrived home from the capital of South Korea. My body is waving the white flag, tired from all the constant walking. (But thank goodness the cold weather made the trek comforting. Also, for a day, I wore a cold-weather outfit inspired by John Reese’s winter attire from Person of Interest [long, black coat, gloves, the works], which made me feel spy-badass while walking around. For a day, I truly embody The Man in the Suit.)

And honestly, my heart and soul are still halfway from Seoul. (Hey, that rhymed.) Why? Well, exactly a month after experiencing a true happy point (the Foo Fighters show at the Singapore Grand Prix), I experienced another true happy point during the Seoul tour, and these two lines from Foo Fighters’ “Everlong” (the 11th song and second single from The Colour and the Shape) perfectly describe it.

If everything could ever feel this real forever
If anything could ever be this good again

My hero, Dave Grohl, performs the acoustic version of Foo Fighters’ “Everlong” at the Save Our Stages Fest (2020).

I will tell you the full story once I fully recover and finish the other drafts I’m working on. But for now, I’m glad I’m feeling this real and this good again.

See you in the next post.

Updated on November 9, 2025.