anxiety – The Diary of The Deranged Writer

30-Minute Warning XLII

Hello, Diary. What can I share here in under 30 minutes?

On the previous Minute Warning post, I wrote that many of my moments of 2025 have been happily memorable. After I wrote that post, I had more happy moments that happened in chilly Seoul. I had so many joyful moments there with my family… and there was a surreal yet happy point with someone. I have vaguely mentioned that on my previous Song of the Moment. Still, no Seoul trip details because I only have 30 minutes to write this post, Minute Warning posts don’t really have a proper flow, and, frankly speaking, I wanted to ramble on topics other than Seoul. For now.

Anyway, a few days after arriving home, there was a moment that led me to overthink with full force, and that spiked my anxiety levels. I wanted to elaborate on what was going on in my mind for people who were concerned for me… but I couldn’t. I had to deal with it alone. To solve this, I went to my safe space, sat in my favorite seat, drank some Earl Grey tea, and wrote more in my journal. Thankfully, that calmed me down, and I needed calm nerves for the next mission that would take place that weekend… a mission that would lead to happiness.

And then that calm turned into overexcitement, so I didn’t get proper sleep, and I ran on caffeine and adrenaline. But I completed my weekend mission, I accomplished everything on my checklist, and my heart and soul were on cloud nine after all that. (Though I admit that fragments of my heart and soul are still in Seoul because of someone.) Last weekend may be one of my happiest ones ever.

So, there… that’s why I have not been writing in The Diary lately: I was that happy recently. But don’t worry. The 2025 edition of 14 Days of The Deranged Writer will start this Saturday, November 22 (The Undertaker’s 35th anniversary, take note!), and I will blog for 14 days straight until December 5, my birthday. I’m pretty stoked about that!

And my 30 minutes are up. See you in the next post.

Header image: Alexandro David of Pexels. Edited in Adobe Photoshop 2025.

Updated November 19, 2025.

Song of the Moment XCIV: The Cranberries’ “Zombie”

I felt a bit anxious today, a Sunday, so I attended Mass on my own and I went to my favorite cafe to relax. I ordered the usual (and comforting) affogato and continued reading The Storyteller: Tales of Life and Music, a book by my hero Dave Grohl. (Yes, I did say “my hero”, a reference to the Foo Fighters classic! Also, this is my second time reading the book, and I’m about to finish it by tomorrow.)

And for once, while I was reading, I didn’t listen to music through my phone. Tonight, I relied on the cafe’s vinyl player, and it played many songs from The Cranberries. The song that stood out for me is the iconic “Zombie”. It has been a long time since I heard “Zombie”, and hearing it brought me back to the time when cassette tapes were the norm and when the only source of stress for me was homework. Memories. And that’s why it’s my Song of the Moment.

The music video of The Cranberries’ “Zombie”.

Anyway, tomorrow is September 1. That means it’s the start of Christmas season in the Philippines. Exciting times!

See you in the next post!

Header image: Suzy Hazelwood of Pexels. Edited in Adobe Photoshop 2025.

Updated on September 3, 2025.

XXXVI: The Nocturnal’s Struggle of Waking Up Early / Notes to Self XVI

If you have been following The Diary lately, you should know that I’ve been making gradual changes in my life. One of those changes is waking up early for work—ideally at 8:00am. I did just that on most workdays after ToyCon 2025, and there were times I even woke up at 6:00am. (That’s a feat for a nocturnal person like me, and even my family is shocked by the fact that I woke up before they did.)

Now it’s beyond the middle of August 2025, and I admit that I haven’t really been waking up as early as 8am lately… and that’s fine.

(Buckle up because this is going to be a long post.)