Prose – Page 7 – The Diary of The Deranged Writer

Song of the Moment CXXI: Nine Inch Nails’ “Wish”

Since the last few days of May, the newest favorite song from Foo Fighters (my favorite band), “Child Actor,” has been my constant soundtrack. I even swore last June 1 that it would be the only song I’d listen to.

But the next day, I had to break that oath because I saw a glimpse of hope. While it couldn’t light up the dark room I’m currently in the way I wanted to, it’s still a source of light. Then I remembered something an old friend told me: “Focus on the glimpses of hope.” So, I started taking better care of myself, stopped punishing myself by listening to only one song, and went back to something familiar: my daily playlist.

Aside from the Foos songs I truly loved, the song I listened to the most recently is “Wish,” my favorite song from industrial rock legends Nine Inch Nails. It’s perhaps the only aggressively loud song that could appropriately scream my recent disappointments and exasperations. Yes, I’ve been doing my best to focus on the smallest lights, but that doesn’t mean I can’t yell through the dark. I need that kind of catharsis, and for the past several weeks, “Wish” has given that.

The music video of Nine Inch Nails’ “Wish.”

How disappointed and exasperated am I? To quote the chorus:

Wish there was something real
Wish there was something true
Wish there was something real
In this world full of you

And that is why “Wish” by Nine Inch Nails is my Song of the Moment.

See you in the next post.

Header image: Adnan Bayot of Pexels. Edited in Adobe Photoshop 2026.

Always Watching VIII: Person of Interest – Foe

Finch and Reese receive the number of an old spy and prisoner who’s out for revenge. Meanwhile, The Machine flashes back to Reese’s first mission as a CIA agent. Tonight, let me reflect on the espionage-centric eighth episode of Person of Interest (Season 1), “Foe.”

Spoiler warning: This post contains major plot spoilers from “Foe.” If you haven’t watched it, please do so first before reading my analysis.

Another Conversation Among Deranged Writers II: Notes to Self XXXII

2019

One humid yet emotionally cold afternoon, I was missing someone more than usual, even though it had been months since our bridge burned. And then I remembered it was that person’s birthday. I thought it wouldn’t hurt to send a simple, casual greeting for the occasion, so I pulled my phone, quickly texted it, and went on with my normally depressing day.

Past midnight, after pigging out on my third plate of baked macaroni in four hours, I took my nightly medicine and dozed off. There, I was teleported to a part of dreamland I’d never been before, and I’m a pretty vivid dreamer. I entered this almost-vast coliseum-like courtroom with chains covering the ceiling, and people were in their chairs like confident judges. After a minute, my eyes became much clearer: the ones in their seats were alternate versions of me.