Trigger warning: themes of anxiety. Please be advised.
Last week was almost perfect. Almost. I didn’t have a boulder-sized workload. Thoughts overflowed in my mind, and I wrote them in my new-and-improved journaling system. I finished and found a new love in the philosophically absurd fantasy-comedy series, The Good Place. And most importantly, I bought a new planner for 2027—and it’s a Muji, not a Moleskine. (That’s monumental because the last time I bought a non-Moleskine planner was almost a decade ago.)
But one weird technological problem happened before the middle of the week, and it triggered the most terrifying anxiety attack since May. While I’m grateful for last week’s happy moments, I couldn’t fully appreciate them because that motherfucking anxiety attack ruined an almost-perfect week like a wrecking ball destroying the wall of a beautiful vacation home. It took me until Sunday for my body to recover, but there’s still that anxious residue racing in my mind somehow.
Which brings me to my Song of the Moment: “Constant Motion,” the first song I’ve ever heard and one of my favorites from the legendary progressive metal band Dream Theater. It was the first single from their ninth studio album, Systematic Chaos. From the fast-paced, precise metal instrumentals down to its theme of overwhelming mental illness (Mike Portnoy, their drummer, has obsessive-compulsive disorder), it captured my mind’s state last week: despite the happy moments, whatever anxious thoughts are left in my brain are still moving constantly.
Weirdly enough, many people have expressed disdain for “Constant Motion.” Personally, I love it because after feeling like I went on a roller coaster the first time I heard it, I dug deeper into their discography, and that’s the moment I became more appreciative of the progressive metal pioneers. Yes, I may have discovered more impressive tunes along the way, but as they say, “you never forget your first,” and that applies to “Constant Motion.”
And that’s why Dream Theater’s “Constant Motion” is my Song of the Moment.
Anyway, today, even though I woke up early feeling groggy like a hangover, the rest of my Monday turned out splendid. I hope the rest of the week is just as fine.
See you all in the next post, and have a nice week ahead.
Header image: Poranimm Athithawatthee.
The Diary of The Deranged Writer 