Scott Steiner is one of my favorite professional wrestlers of all time. As one-half of the Steiner Brothers alongside Rick Steiner, he is a gifted heavyweight athlete who unbelievably moves with the agility of a cruiserweight. And when he became the madman that is “Big Poppa Pump”, he delivered some of the craziest diatribes in pro wrestling history (whether he’s wearing a chainmail headgear or not)… and I laugh at them. The man has no chill.
But lately, I think I have been watching too many Scott Steiner videos too many times, and almost everything reminds me of him. In short, I got Steinermania.
Scott Steiner’s Theme Song & Catchphrase
Before I start, are you familiar with Scott Steiner’s theme song and catchphrase? If not, I would like you to check out the following videos. These videos are crucial to the story.
Scott Steiner’s Catchphrase
Basically, Scott Steiner’s signature catchphrase is a shoutout to all his fans… or should I say, freaks.
This goes to all my freaks out there! Big Poppa Pump is your hookup! HOLLA IF YA HEAR ME!!!
Scott Steiner, the greatest poet and mathematician ever
I know, the catchphrase is out of this world. But you know what’s more outrageous? How Steiner delivers it with rage. Please watch the video below.
Scott Steiner’s WWE Theme Song
Combine a rock tune perfect for driving around with police sirens, and you get the WWE theme song of the one and only “Big Poppa Pump”. And hearing Steiner shouting the following words?
HOLLA IF YA HEAR ME!!!
That’s icing on the cake… if that cake is made of muscles, chainmail, and sunglasses.
Done watching both videos? Anyway…
Hearing Sirens (Too Often)
Lately, for some strange reason, I have been hearing a lot of sirens (whether I’m at home or commuting). And whenever I do, I want to scream the last line from Scott Steiner’s signature catchphrase.
HOLLA IF YA HEAR ME!!!
And you know what? I almost screamed Steiner’s testosterone-charged catchphrase after a recent trip to 7-Eleven. When I heard that warning sound, I almost dropped my paper bag filled with Coke Zeros and yelled.
But I didn’t. I stopped myself. I know I’m deranged, but I don’t show that in public. Yet.
Then one night, a perfect opportunity was presented. I was home alone, drinking my Devil’s Cup, when I heard it from the outside once again: sirens. So, I made sure I’m truly the only one at home. And when the coast is clear, I stood up on my chair and finally unleashed the Freakzilla rage.
HOLLA IF YA HEAR ME!!!
That felt good, screaming that. I just hope my neighbors were not startled by my Big Poppa Pump moment.
An Item That Can Trigger Steiner
One of my tasks as an administrative assistant (my day job) is to create proposals. I list details and simple computations from reports, have those proposals approved, and then I send them via email for processing.
But one day, my Father/boss told me about a few proposals, “One-item proposals should be emailed directly, no need for approval. Like, for example, for a drain pump…”
Drain pump. Drain pump?!
That triggered my inner Scott Steiner:
What pump?! Big Poppa PUMP is your hookup! HOLLA IF YA HEAR ME!!!
Scott Steiner Math Promo
Before we proceed and make the next story clearer for you, I would like you to forget everything you know about math and watch Scott Steiner’s greatest moment: the Steiner Math promo. It was a promo that Steiner delivered during the buildup to TNA’s Sacrifice pay-per-view event in 2008, and it’s the craziest so-bad-it’s-great promo ever.
So, have you watched the promo and didn’t understand a word he said? Here’s the promo in verbatim. (Or at least I tried deciphering what Steiner said.)
You know they say all men are created equal, but you look at me and you look at Samoa Joe and you can see that statement is not true!
See, normally if you go one on one with another wrestler, you got a 50/50 chance of winning. But I’m a genetic freak and I’m not normal! So you got a 25%, AT BEST, at beat me! Then you add Kurt Angle to the mix, your chances of winning drastic go down!
See the three way at Sacrifice, you got a 33 1/3 chance of winning. But I! I got a 66 and 2/3 chance of winning, because Kurt Angle KNOWS he can’t beat me, and he’s not even gonna try! So Samoa Joe, you take your 33 1/3 chance, minus my 25% chance and you got an 8 1/3 chance of winning at Sacrifice!
But then you take my 75% chance of winning, if we was to go one on one, and then add 66 2/3 per cents, I got 141 2/3 chance of winning at Sacrifice! See Joe, the numbers don’t lie, and they spell disaster for you at Sacrifice!
Scott Steiner’s Math Promo, May 1, 2008
Don’t you still understand the Steiner Math promo? I think that’s the point.
Moving on…
Powerbanks & Steiner Math Percentages
A few weeks ago, I bought a new powerbank, a TechLife Power Bank R211. My old one, an AWEI portable powerbank, is still working properly. But I bought a new one because I need a powerbank that has the following:
- Built-in Type-C and Lightning charging cables for compatible devices
- A digital display that accurately shows the powerbank’s battery level, not just by indicating 25%, 50%, 75% and 100%.
And the TechLife Power Bank R211 has both, plus it’s only worth PHP 1,200. So, I consider that a steal.
Before buying the item, I asked a tech staff member in the store how to preserve the powerbank. The tech guy said:
You should charge it to full capacity when the battery level goes 20% to 30%. Charging it always to 100% can slowly shorten the powerbank’s lifespan. And make sure that the powerbank’s battery level doesn’t go 0%. That’s bad, too.
And for a few seconds, my mind went from attentively listening to the tech guy’s advice to activating Steiner Math:
20%… 30%… 100%… but I’m not normal, and there’s a 33 1/3 % chance of winning against Samoa Joe…
This is fucking ridiculous, and I’m laughing internally.
But then I snapped out of it, took note of the charging advice on my phone, asked the tech guy again if I missed any details, bought the powerbank finally, and then I said thanks to all the staff.
So, next time, when you bring up percentages and basically math to me, expect me to blank out, laugh, or both because Steiner Math is etched in my mind and it will never go away.
Conclusion
From the frequent sirens, an item from work, to something as universal as math, almost everything lately reminds me of the most unhinged wrestler of all time, Scott Steiner. And I love it.
To Mr. Scott Steiner, your ridiculous promos and version of math are great for my mental health (even if Steiner Math makes my head spin). Thank you, sir. Please, never change.
See you in the next post.
Ω
Header image: Max of Pixabay. Edited in Adobe Photoshop 2025.
Former title: “XXXII: Almost Everything Lately Reminds Me of Scott Steiner”.
Updated on July 17, 2025, September 13, 2025, and November 29, 2025.
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