depression – Page 10 – The Diary of The Deranged Writer

VI: The Deranged Writer’s Default Answer to “How Are You?”

“How are you, DW?”

“I’m OK. I’m not happy. I’m not sad. I’m just OK.”

Header image: cottonbro CG st u dio of Pexels. Edited in Adobe Photoshop 2022.

10-Minute Warning XXXIX

Today is one of those days when I feel both physically and mentally tired. The scorching heat and this certain sadness since Saturday night drained most of my energy.

I would like to expound on the melancholy, but I’m really tired and I drank my nightly medicine 2 hours earlier. I hope I can bounce back tomorrow and write a more proper post this Wednesday.

10-Minute Warning XXVII

Let me cut to the chase. As I’m typing this now on mobile, I feel really sad. I don’t want to do anything rash or hurt myself. I’m simply sad.

I did everything to feel less sad today. I woke up early this morning. I ate breakfast and lunch on time. I helped in cleaning and taking out the trash. I updated my journal earlier than usual. I listened to the Foo Fighters’ new album But Here We Are for the nth time. And then I had my nightly walking/jogging at Three Trees. And after all that, the sadness is still there. It was lessened, but it is still there.

Perhaps I need to try harder to lessen the sorrow… or maybe stay in the darkness for a while until I’m ready to bounce back? We’ll see. I just hope I will become well tomorrow or any time this week. I truly hope.

Header image: Dustin Tramel of Unsplash. Edited in Adobe Photoshop 2022.