Recently, I have been receiving so much light in the form of good deeds and happy moments (e.g., the recent Foo Fighters show, meeting my new friend, and my happiest birthday yet), and that generous amount of light makes me feel good.
But what’s better than receiving? It’s giving, especially the altruistic kind.
This is my 22nd Notes to Self.
Continue reading Notes to Self XXIISince 2019, December 1 has become a haunting day. It reminded me of a ghost from a failed relationship, and I easily see ghosts through specific dates, photographs, and even songs. For a few years, I had to endure the pain of seeing those ghosts, especially on December 1.
In 2022, I took it upon myself to make December 1 a less sad day. Not happy; less sad. I kept myself busy. I greeted an uncle who is also a December 1 celebrant. I numbed myself with alcohol. I kept myself busy some more. And in doing all of those things, somehow they work, even if I still see that particular ghost.
But today, December 1, 2025, many happy moments have happened. At midnight, I was sharing laughs with an online friend (once again) about the most ridiculously unhinged professional wrestler of all time, “Big Poppa Pump” Scott Steiner. This morning, I woke up early, and I had some lovely FRESH POTS that energized my body and soul. I was able to accomplish the work tasks that I could do before I went running errands. After those errands, I had a fresh haircut and a satisfying massage. And now I’m having my thirst-quenching iced tea at my favorite cafe. I will absolutely have dinner here as well.
But the happiest part of the day? It’s talking to my new friend. It feels nice getting to know more about a gentle, kind soul.
It’s 6:00pm as I type this entry, but thanks to all those moments today, for the first time in years, I can declare that December 1 is a happy day. In fact, December 1, 2025, is the happiest December 1 of my life. Yes, the ghosts are still there, but they don’t haunt me anymore. The light I have been feeling lately outweighs the dark.
Four more days to go before my birthday, December 5!
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A part of 14 Days of The Deranged Writer (2025).
Header image: Marta Dzedyshko of Pexels. Edited in Adobe Photoshop 2025.
As part of 14 Days of The Deranged Writer (2025), and since drinking UCC Class One coffee is a part of my morning ritual nowadays, I’d like to talk about a legendary YouTube video that has stuck with me since 2010. It’s a video so memorably epic that I always remember it when I drink black coffee (or any caffeinated drink, for that matter).
I’m talking about the video titled “Dave Grohl in FRESH POTS!”
Continue reading XL: Watch VII: Dave Grohl’s FRESH POTS Video (and How It Echoed Through The Deranged Writer’s Caffeine-Fueled Life Story)
The Diary of The Deranged Writer 