XLIII: The Deranged Writer’s Struggle with Steinermania III

Unless you’re living under a rock, I’m sure you’re familiar with the device known as the microphone or mic. Singers use it to deliver their show-stopping performances, broadcasters use it to deliver information and opinions on their shows, and professional wrestlers use it to deliver promos.

Side note: In professional wrestling terms, a promo is a monologue from a wrestler/manager/personality or a dialogue between two or more individuals that hypes a match, advances a storyline, and develops wrestling personas. In pro wrestling, the act of delivering a promo is called “cutting a promo.”

So, where is this going? I just want to share that I have watched too many Scott Steiner videos so often that even the word “mic” triggers my Steinermania. Let me explain why.

But first, some context…

Scott Steiner’s Return to WWE (2002)

At the 2002 edition of WWE’s Survivor Series, “Big Poppa Pump” Scott Steiner made his return to the company during a segment where Christopher Nowinski (a Harvard graduate and a member of the Raw roster) and Matt Hardy (a member of the SmackDown roster, and on his Version 1 persona) thrashed the Madison Square Garden crowd. Steiner brought a barrage of suplexes to both Mr. Nowinski and the Sensei of Mattitude, and he threw them out of the ring one by one. After establishing his dominance, he did what not every non-genetic freak does: he did pushups with ease in the middle of the ring. (Please watch the full video below.)

Finished watching the video? What you’ve seen is actually the censored version. After the crowd barked like dogs (in reference to Scott Steiner’s brother, Rick Steiner), Big Poppa Pump dropped the f-bomb on live television, the only way he knows how:

GIMME A FUCKING MIC!!!

Now that I shared that bit, let’s get into the story itself.

Almost Steiner-Shouting at a DJI Store

While waiting for a particular meet-and-greet session at the Philippine Game Show last November 14, one thing I did to pass the time was pass by a store owned by DJI (a Chinese tech company that sells camera drones and handheld/portable devices for video recording). I looked for their newest product, the Osmo Mobile 8, and then a staff member approached me, asking me if I had any questions about the device. One of the Osmo Mobile 8’s add-ons is a transmitter, and I have no clue what that is, so I asked about it. The staff member answered:

Staff Member #1: A transmitter is the mic, sir.

I heard the word “mic”, and because my brain cells are scrambled due to Steinermania, the first information that I remember was the same first words Steiner said at the 2002 edition of Survivor Series:

GIMME A FUCKING MIC!!!

In some alternative universes, I would have shouted those words to the DJI staff with Steiner-like intensity, and the shop would have shaken with fear, become silent with disbelief, or burst into hysterical laughter. Or all of the above. I would have turned into a viral meme, too. But nope, in the prime universe of The Deranged Writer, ironically, I responded sanely with:

Oh, that’s what it is. A mic.

I really wanted to unleash my inner Freakzilla, so it took me 141 and 2/3% of willpower to stop myself and just speak normally. And if I did unleash it, no one would understand. No one could understand. It’s Scott f’n Steiner.

The next time you mention the word “mic” to me, you might find me covering my face and stopping myself from laughing, shouting, or both. Sorry, almost everything reminds me of Scott Steiner because I watched too many videos of his. It’s all my fault.

Ω

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Header image: Bruno of Pixabay. Edited in Adobe Photoshop 2025.

Updated on December 20, 2025 and December 30, 2025.