Have you ever woke up and expected a bad day ahead, but the universe instead gave you at least one good reason to be happy about?
That’s what happened to me recently when I watched a clip from the latest episode of WWE’s Monday Night Raw while I was commuting to the mall with my Mother, and I saw Bron Breakker take a page out of the book of his uncle, “Big Poppa Pump” Scott Steiner. Mr. Breakker said his own version of Steiner Math, and it made me laugh like a madman in public. And frankly, I needed the laugh at that time.
For the past several years, I have been haunted by ghosts of the past. They appear whenever I look at old photos, recall specific dates, and even hear songs with a memory or an image of an important person attached to it. In my life, July and August are months filled with those ghosts, so even if I end up noting in my journal entries that I had a happy or an OK day, I also note that sometimes it’s a struggle for me to reach those types of conclusions. Specifically, the past few days have been mentally and emotionally tough for me.
But last Tuesday morning, August 12, after I struggled yet powered through my early rituals, the universe said “stop being sad, Dewey” in the form of the most ridiculous, laughable Steiner Math outburst yet from Bron Breakker on Raw. If you have read my Scott Steiner posts from July 16 and August 6, you should know that I have been cackling about almost everything that reminds me of Freakzilla and his Steiner Math promo (which includes anything related to math), and Breakker’s recent outburst didn’t help contain my Steiner laughter.
On the first segment of this week’s WWE Raw, my top favorite wrestler in WWE right now, “The Best in the World” CM Punk, opened the show by telling everyone that he has a Seth Rollins problem. (Take note: CM Punk beat Gunther for the World Heavyweight Championship at Night 1 of WWE SummerSlam, but Seth Rollins revealed that he is not injured at all, and then he cashed in his Money in the Bank contract to beat Punk and become World Heavyweight Champion.) Punk then threatens Rollins that he will break his legs for real and become world champion again.
Then, “The Megastar” Sharon Cuneta… oops. Wrong megastar. I mean, “The Megastar” LA Knight entered the ring and shook Punk’s hand. Knight agreed that Punk was robbed of the world title, but then he also reminded Punk that he shouldn’t have interfered in his World Heavyweight Championship match against Rollins on Raw last week. Knight said that Punk deserves a rematch after he gets his rematch. Punk reminded Knight that he should thank him for saving his life because Rollins stomped his head on the concrete floor.
And then Punk and Knight went to verbal war, where they answered the question, “Who deserves to be the next world champion?” It was awesome to see and hear two of the best talkers in the same professional wrestling ring at the same time. But frankly speaking, that is not what the post is about.
While Punk and Knight were debating, members of Seth Rollins’ new faction, The Vision (Paul Heyman, “Big” Bronson Reed, and Bron Breakker), interrupted them from the entrance stage. Heyman called the audience’s language “gutteral”, warned Knight not to ask Punk for favors (based on Heyman’s experience anyway)… then Punk called Heyman a “crybaby” and challenged The Vision to enter the ring and fight. Heyman then laid down the challenge: Punk/Knight vs Breakker/Reed in a tag team match tonight. Punk and Knight accepted the challenge, and Heyman said in closing with a mic drop, “Deal. See you tonight.”
And then, in true unhinged Steiner fashion, Breakker suddenly took off his suit jacket and stormed to the ring, but he was stopped by Reed (wearing Roman Reigns’ sneakers like an ula fala) and Heyman. He started to shout these words to Punk and Knight:
What?! You’re 47 (Punk)! What are you gonna do?! And you’re 40 (Knight)! I’ll kick your ass!
Paul Heyman repeatedly said to Breakker with genuine concern, “You’re not even in your gear!” And then Breakker said something that would make his uncle Scott Steiner proud.
You guys are 100 years old combined!!!
It doesn’t have the percentages, and Breakker definitely didn’t add Kurt Angle to the mix. Plus, the last time I checked, Punk’s and Knight’s ages are 46 and 42, respectively. But 47 + 40 = 100? That math equation is certifiably Steiner Math, and Breakker delivered it with classic Steiner rage and matching dark shades (just like his uncle Scott Steiner). I love it, and it made me chuckle while I was on the way to the mall with my Mother. With a concerned look on her face, my Mother asked me if I was all right. Of course, I said, “I’m all right, Mother. In fact, I’m so happy.” And I have a Steiner Math scholar like Bron Breakker to thank for such happiness.
To Mr. Bron Breakker, thank you for your own spin on Steiner Math. The month of August is usually a depressing period for me, so I really needed a laugh… or a thousand laughs. Please don’t change, sir.
See you in the next post, everyone. (I hope it doesn’t take another few days before I write a new post. I have only blogged thrice so far this August 2025. Damn.)
Ω
Header image: Chalkboard image by Resource Boy of Pexels. The chalkboard font used is KG Ten Thousand Reasons by Kimberly Geswein.
Updated on November 27, 2025.
The Diary of The Deranged Writer 
One thought on “Watch VI: Bron Breakker’s Version of Steiner Math”