Notes to Self XXIII

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Spoiler & Trigger Warning: Very crucial information about Person of Interest: Synecdoche (Season 5, Episode 11), and themes of depression, suicide. Please be advised.

Continue reading Notes to Self XXIII

LII: On Undertaker’s Birthday and Being Thankful To All


March 24 is the birthday of my favorite professional wrestler of all time Mark Calaway, most popularly known as The Undertaker.

I will save the lengthy to another post; I have written a tribute to him almost two years ago. Yes, he did returned for a few more matches (notably against John Cena at WrestleMania 34). And yes, for the past 2 years I have grown fond of more athletic wrestlers like Finn Balor, Kenny Omega and Aleister Black. But the bittersweet moment I felt at the end of WrestleMania 33 and my overall appreciation for The Deadman still stands. He is still my top favorite competitor on any era, and his legend will live on forever.

Thank you, Undertaker, for all you have done in the ring, and for being a huge part of my life. Happy birthday, Deadman.


Speaking of thanks, I would also like to take this time to thank everyone I met, known and befriended through the years either as The Deranged Writer or the man behind the masked persona.

I know I have been melancholic lately again, and it shows on my recent series of depressing poems here on The Dispatch. And I also know I have been a huge burden lately. But don’t worry. It will be over soon. Everything will be over soon.

I wish I can thank all of you one by one right now. But thank you. All of you. Ω

10-Minute Warning IV

Let me tell you something again under 10 minutes.

Productivity wise, well… I have a few rough nights not coming up with better homepage designs. I also need to sharpen my pen tool skills. Perfect. Just when I am falling in love with Adobe Illustrator again. But other than that I’m good.

And also I’ve been checking more of my junior designer’s social media and UI work, too. Honestly, sometimes I feel like I need to go overtime and work on her tasks myself. But that would not make her improve, right? It’s not in my nature to be strict and I am kind of a rebel myself, but in order for my subordinate to improve, I need to toughen her up. So far, so good. I hope she improves in a couple of months.

When it comes to my panic attacks, there are a few major ones but I am really doing my best to handle them myself, though I do need to inform my loved ones what is happening to me. Even if I am having those attacks, I still have to be aware of my surroundings. I cannot let them win over me. Fuck anxiety, man.

In the coming weeks, I will finally scatter some old posts to beef up The Dispatch’s  archives. I’m pretty sure there will be a lot of writing exercises over actual essays, but that’s better than having a stagnant blog. Right?

And there goes 10 minutes.