II: The Day the World (Almost) Went Away

Trigger Warning: anxiety, depression, and suicide. Please be advised.


March 25, 2019

Background Music: Nine Inch Nails’ “The Day the World Went Away” (1999)

That very morning, I tried my best to get up from my bed, take a cold bath, and change my clothes. Even having breakfast has been a challenge, but I did it anyway.

I’d listen to the words he’d say
but in his voice I heard decay.

After doing all of that, I locked the door, took a seat in my bed, and stared blankly on the floor. I had enough of pretending.

Continue reading II: The Day the World (Almost) Went Away

I: One More Start

Background Music: Nina Simone’s “Feeling Good” (1965)


I have been trying to write regularly on this blog The Dispatch since November 2016. Scratch that—I have been trying to blog as frequently as I can on multiple platforms since October 2006. (A time when I was not The Deranged Writer and I’m not familiar with WordPress yet.) And whenever I notice that I don’t update my blog as consistently as I could, I would decide between two options: (1) keep on writing despite the gaps while publishing some entries on older dates when I can or (2) restart the blog altogether.  

On this blog, I tried to stick with Option 1 for a few years. But it caused me to worry a lot about writing many posts and publishing dates, and that kind of worry affected my mental health and working performance. Starting over and preparing posts for the future (if that makes sense) seems better and more enjoyable for me. So that’s the reason I’m restarting The Dispatch altogether.

But what about my older favorite entries? I can post them in the future and indicate their original publishing date. Like I said, “I’m preparing posts for the future.”

It’s a new dawn.
It’s a new day.
It’s a new life
for me
and I’m feeling good.

– Nina Simone’s “Feeling Good” (1965)

With that said, I would like to welcome you to my newly refreshed blog The Dispatch! Will I keep up with my blogging schedule this time? With a more motivated mindset and a clean slate, I will. 

Note: I almost forgot that The Dispatch’s web hosting has been renewed recently, thanks to my parents. Now that is extra motivation for me to write more. Thank you, my beloved parents, for supporting me. I will make it up to them soon. Ω


Header Image: Breakingpic of Pexels. Edited on VSCO, Adobe Photoshop, and Adobe Illustrator.