While I was alone last night, a Thursday, I was tempted to drink an early Devil’s Cup. But it was not yet Friday, so I stopped myself and drank more water. (As I should.)
And then, I heard a whisper within.
“Dewey, you have been holding off on the decision for days.”
I didn’t avoid the whisper, my Inner Dewey. I replied to him.
“I know, I know.”
My Inner Dewey asked.
Inner Dewey: “Why are you holding off?”
Dewey: “Well, I was anxious…”
Then my Inner Dewey frustratingly replied.
Inner Dewey: “Was. Now you’re fine, right? Also, you can make the decision now that you have the means, but you’re also running out of time. What’s stopping you tonight?”
Dewey: “I’m just overwhelmed.”
We both sighed. And then…
Inner Dewey: All right. Take a few deep breaths with me.
We did our breathing exercise to be calm. After a minute, my Inner Dewey went back on-topic:
Inner Dewey: Now that you’re calm, can you please make the decision already?
Dewey: “Well, there are consequences to not acting, like…”
My Inner Dewey groaned.
Inner Dewey: “I quote Jack Bauer, ‘Damn it!’ The rituals you implemented and the gifts the universe has given you lately are great, but this is different. It can be better. You can reach higher. If you make the decision, the positive consequence will be the happiest moment of your life by far. Don’t you want that?”
He’s right. For once, I shouldn’t deny happiness.
Dewey: “I… I want that moment. The happiest moment.“
I can’t see it physically, but I can feel my Inner Dewey smiling.
Inner Dewey: “Well, then. Let’s do it. Together.”
Dewey: “All right. Together.”
I opened my laptop, visited the event’s website, and then we counted from three to one.
Dewey and Inner Dewey: Three… two… one…
I clicked the purchase button. I did it. Finally.
Inner Dewey: “Now it’s official.”
Dewey: “I’m going to see Foo Fighters again!”
See you in the next post. And to my favorite band in the world, see you again soon!
Ω
The Diary of The Deranged Writer 