My Christmas Wishlist (2017)

I just turned 27 last December 5, and it was perfect timing that my office released our 13th month pay. Oh, boy! Not including a house and lot and a new iPhone X—All the things I can buy with all of these moolah, baby. Fuck yes.

Wait a minute though. I do need to save up more primarily because my family and I will move out to a condominium in 2020. Which is why I might only buy one of the things on my wishlist this holiday season. Or two. I don’t know. We’ll see.

But anyway, here’s my list!


Brown Formal Shoes

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Brown Formal Shoes by Clark’s. £78. Not what I really want, but close enough.

Last year I was able to buy my first pair of black leather boots in Palladium. I love wearing the pair so much that I kept wearing it for almost 300 non-consecutive days.  What? Yes, I did. Thank goodness they have not given up on me. Yet.

But, aside from my blue Adidas rubber shoes, I can’t always depend on my constant journey buddy. And having a pair of brown formal shoes (oxfords or brogues) is the perfect pair to change my shoe game.

Shoe game. I never used that term before. But yeah.

5-Minute Warning XIX

December starts tomorrow, meaning that my girlfriend is turning another year older. Oh my God. Oh. My. God. Am I ready for tomorrow? I do have a gift though, but should I buy another? But budget is tight. And beside I already bought a gift she really wants. I have not given her a gift off her actual wish list on her birthday. I do not want to make another mistake.

I am nervous. But why should I nervous? I already bought her something. Something she really wants. Good grief. I need to relax. Goddamn coffee. I should stop drinking coffee at night. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

XIII: Long Live The Undertaker

Note: This piece was first written last November 22, 2017, in light of the 27th anniversary of Undertaker’s World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) debut. 

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The Undertaker as then-new World Heavyweight Champion at WrestleMania 23. 2007.

Since the start of 2007, I have this pro wrestling moment booked in my head—the final curtain call of my favorite wrestler of all time The Undertaker. The fantasy match involved would change from ‘Taker in one more Hell in a Cell match to a simply brutal one-on-one sanctioned match with another company flag bearer like John Cena or even Triple H again. But the ending moment in my mind was always the same—the Deadman leaving his trademark coat, hat and gloves in the center of the ring at WrestleMania, WWE’s flagship annual show.

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Roman Reigns decimates The Undertaker. WrestleMania 33. 2017.

Last April 2 2017 (US time), the next face of the company Roman Reigns would face The Undertaker at WrestleMania 33. I have a feeling that the match will be a passing of the torch from the 52-year old veteran to “The Big Dog”, but I was not prepared by how it would end. Reigns did get the torch as he would give ‘Taker his second ‘Mania loss in his career. And then the bittersweet moment I booked in my head a decade ago slowly turned into reality—he left his trademark coat, hat and gloves in the center of the ring at WrestleMania.

undertaker-wrestlemania33-3

The moment I saw that at 12pm (Philippine time), live on the WWE Network, at the comfort of my own workstation, I cried. I really did. I don’t know if anyone in my office noticed my crying, and I don’t care if anyone did.

And as today marks the 27th anniversary of The Undertaker’s debut, let tell you why this sad/glad moment is a big deal for me.

XII: On Waking Up Early I

In my workplace, operating hours start at 9am and ends at 6pm. We have a grace period up to 10am so we will not be marked as late. Unfortunately I have made a reputation to be really tardy—a reputation I am totally not proud of, and I have been working for 3 years already. It went to the point that my workmates just got used to that, and I

Yes, there are a few contributing factors that I cannot control like (1) living in a place with terrible daily road traffic and (2) unfortunate accidents that make traffic worse for a few hours. But in the end, I totally blame myself for not fixing my sleeping habits and not having a good morning routine. In short, I’m a big failure.

But enough moping and more direct action: I kept looking on YouTube videos, adjusting my sleeping pattern and trying other new ways to be punctual. And after a few years of adjusting and trials-and-errors, I made an simple yet significant achievement last week: I was at work early from Monday to Thursday; 4 out of my 5 work days, I was not late. Hot damn. And not only am I happy about that, my office mates’ reactions vary from “Congratulations!” and “Traffic was not bad, huh?” to “Holy shit!” and “What happened to our friend? Did you kill him?!” (Perhaps the last one counts as a positive reply?)

But anyway, how did I do it? Well, here are my first three tips on how to be at work on time. They may not work for you, but they definitely work for me. Continue reading XII: On Waking Up Early I

Sunday Night Questions IV

Before I go on with my Sunday Night Questions segment (where I answer a set of 5 “Yes or No” questions every Sunday night), I just want to say how ashamed I am of myself for not updating The Dispatch as often as I want to. I am so ashamed on how many times I have neglected a personal project. (I already failed on my Inktober endeavor for the second year in a row, for crying out loud).

“Good grief, Deewee. Get it together, will you?”

No, I am not making any excuses; even if I have anxiety issues and a lot of work tasks, I am still at fault here. I invested a few bucks on a domain name and hosting, and I should make use of that. I should get back up and keep on writing.

With that, I might have to bring up some unpolished posts and just publish on their actual dates, even if they are all nonsense. I might as well show how much of a work-in-progress this blog is, right?

Anyway, let’s get down with the fourth Sunday Night Questions!  Continue reading Sunday Night Questions IV

X: A Fork in the Road

I was so tired after my Friday overtime that I stayed for another hour just to drink more water and take a nap. I did not bother going home right away. And this has been my nth overtime in almost 3 months.

It’s 10:40pm that I logged out of the office. I opened my smartphone and stared at the Uber icon. Should I book a ride? No. I chose to walk for a while and look for a nearby Mercury Drug.

During my walk to the drugstore, my heart started beating hard like a mad gorilla pounding a bass drum. My feet was trembling and almost failing. The quiet and dark streets are whispering somber thoughts I am not supposed to think about.

I need to breathe. I do not need another anxiety attack. God damn it. I need to breathe. I need to close my eyes and take deep breaths. Breathe in. Breathe out. Slowly. Deeply. Breathe. I will be fine.

After a few minutes of my breathing exercise, my anxious heart calmed down and I opened my eyes. There is red and black smoke, and a deep church bell rang as if The Undertaker will start his slow march. But no. I saw more familiar face—the face of The Character, a dear friend of mine that only gifted eyes can see. Wearing his white mask, black hood and black gloves, he presented me a literal fork in the road.

“I will leave it up to you to interpret the paths.”

In the left, there is a contract. What can I say? I have been working for the same digital production company for 3 years, and the past 2 were assured by that contract I signed out of motivation to earn more money, out of my desire to learn more about UI and graphic design and helping out my colleagues, and out of fear of being unemployment for 6 months before I got my first job. My contract’s end is drawing near as my fear of unemployment is creeping back, so there is this want to extend my stay.

In the right, there is a newly-furnished door. This brand new path could mean many things: a new job that pays better yet still stressful or the total end of my current job. But all I can say about the new door is that it symbolizes, well, new. It symbolizes something I have never done before during my 3-year corporate run.

Two paths, and I feel like I’m running out of time. I need to make a decision. I must make a decision. Or…

“But seriously though,” I asked The Character. “How about a vacation? Can I just go to an excursion to Singapore for the weekend or something? Or just watch Foo Fighters in August there? October is a bit far away for me.”

“Well, then. The clock is ticking still,” The Character warned as he slowly disappears from the fog, and the fork in the road dissolves into dust.

And then I woke up. I found myself in a Family Mart resting. I need to go home. Or probably get some new breakfast pancakes at Starbucks before going home. Whatever.

I want a long vacation. I do. But he is right. I need to make a decision soon.

IX: Gentle Breeze

I rarely have long vacations, let alone having an overnight one. When I do get a break from the busy city, it’s either in Cagayan, Bulacan, Baguio, Boracay (one time), Tagaytay, or Laguna. But never Batangas. Today changed all of that with my family’s annual trip with their badminton clubmates. (Something that has been going on for probably 3-4 years. I barely play badminton, so I have no idea about the actual numbers.)

Honestly, I almost forgot about the trip. But since I had a 5-day overtime streak this week, I just have to join. And I’m glad I did.

“How do you relax, Deranged Writer?”, you asked. Well, I have several ways to relax: listening to music, reading comic books, or watching my favorite TV series, among other methods. But I just found a new form of relaxation: writing while staying at an elevated cottage high enough to feel the coolest of breezes and oversee everything that the resort has to offer: two swimming pools, several apartments and other cottages.

Have I mentioned the cool breeze already? Sleeping, swimming at the sea or at the pool, eating sumptuous food, and doing it over again is a beach person’s dream. But just experiencing the cool breeze is my favorite part of entire weekend break. It’s not only very much welcomed, I truly loved every second of the province’s wind blowing and touching my brown skin. All the air-conditioning units in the world are nothing compared to Mother Nature’s gift of fresh air.

I believe that nature’s gentle winds are their simple and comforting reminders that there will be always be better days, that everything will be fine.

The last time I had a memorable beach trip happened just last year in Boracay. Experiencing vitamins sun, sand and John Cena sea every month would cost me more than a quarter of my Funko Pop collection. But damn it. I want to have more vacations like this. I want to work harder for vacations like this.

I want more gentle breezes.