Nervous Notes I

In order for me to calm down, I need:
a pill that soothes my mind,
a certain number of supporting hands,
someone who can pick my brain for an hour,
and comforting, assuring words

but my support system is nothing
when I do not follow their advice,
when I suddenly teleport to an unknown place,
when I let my own worries eat my future

I do not want to gain more nicknames,
“Stubborn Sumbitch”
“The Test of Patience”
“The Bridge Burner”
or simply a lost cause

In a war inside my head,
reinforcements can only do so much
I want my sanity to come home
But it’s a war I have to win alone

 

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