20-Minute Warning Before 2017

Of all the shitty years I have ever went through, 2016 has been the shittiest. Seriously. But even if I don’t talk about my personal life, a lot of people will agree that 2016 is one very, very bad year. I can list some reasons: More bloodshed from war-stricken countries, the surprise win of Donald Trump as President of the U.S.A., and the meteoric and almost apocalyptic rise of President Rodrigo Duterte and his controversial war against drugs.

But what really hits me the most as I remember and write under time pressure is the demise of people I look up to. David Bowie, Carrie Fisher, and Prince (!!!) all gone on the same year really cut some heartstrings brutally. I may not know them, but to think that we will never get to see more of their brilliance in music, film and the arts is just terrible. Terrible. But yes, they did made use of their brilliance to change the world or at least change the worlds of those who admire them. And with all of the masterpieces they created, we will remember them for years to come. And I will truly remember them.

And don’t get me wrong. I do want to talk more socially-relevant topics on my blog. But that will be done next year. And it’s like 11:14 as I typed this. Time pressure. Tick tock.

10 minutes. 10 minutes is also not enough for me to discuss how hard it is for me to be diagonosed as clinically depressed. I know I can be really emotionally; that I can get sad pretty easily. But 2016 really put that depression under a microscope. And I can’t even expound on how sad that is without feeling relieved after doing so. Maybe that is also the reason for my new Dispatch. I want a clean slate that I can really talk about what I am really going through.

Of course, there are some brighter moments like getting closer with my family and friends because of my diagnosis, getting a lot of new stuff, buying a lot of new stuff (like the new phone I just bought before Christmas!), new discoveries like the eccentric metal band Ghost and indie pop band Autotelic, and enjoying Ben Affleck’s Batman and Gal Gadot’s Wonder Woman (surprising really!) on the big screen. But man, I cannot wait for 2016 to end. This has been one tough year for me and the rest of planet Earth.

And here come the fireworks. Here’s to a funner, less darker 2017! But even if it will not be like that, I just hope everything will be just fine. That’s all.

Happy New Year! Ding!

5-Minute Warning III

Since December 22, I started sleeping late again. Like, senior college type of sleeping late. Writing and watching videos until I can see a piece of that morning sun from the window. That was poetic for a 5-minute warning. But it’s true. I’ve been sleeping late again.

But what the hell… I am on my Christmas vacation. I deserve to sleep late like this after all that unholy snowball of work stress. I deserve to mess up my body clock again while enjoying what I love doing in the process—writing (especially here). Sure, I’m exercising that under time pressure, but that adds spice to it. I like challenges especially when it has its rewards—improvement, a material that I want to have, or just plain cash. Who doesn’t want rewards?

And that’s about it. Beep beep beep.

IV: Day 5 to #27

I

I’ve been trying to get out of this writing funk I got stuck in post-birthday (no thanks to my anxiety). But now I’m out of it, thanks to this this lovely coffee place/vinyl shop called Satchmi. No, this is not a paid advertisement. And aside from the dinner treat last Monday (which I’m going to talk about in a bit), writing here this Saturday night is the best idea I’ve had all week.

If I were to have my own place, this place is one of my design pegs-brown and peach brick wall, natural wood, lots of records and lots of coffee. (Perhaps I would want my own cafe, too?) All the vinyl music bouncing through the warm, natural interior while sipping their coffee get me in the zone to write. And with that, I thank Satchmi for getting me out of the funk.

And funk you, writer’s block.


Continue reading IV: Day 5 to #27

III: Before Turning 26

I

I’ve been on a blogging roll since last month, and I couldn’t be happier with the way things are going on The Dispatch. I started writing again on the blog, tackled a bit more on pro wrestling, and came up with a new segment in Questions & Exclamations.

Since I started talking more rasslin’, I thought maybe I could write more Qs&Es this week by watching more WWE after going home from work. I spent almost 3 hours for Raw, 2 for SmackDown, 1 for NXT and 1 for the new cruiserweights-exclusive 205 Live. I enjoyed the shows this week (although I am a bit sad about the lack of Shinsuke Nakamura on the NXT episode), and I was able to jot down each episode’s important points. I said, “Oh, this is going to be great!” 

And then I logged on to my WordPress dashboard, started transfering my notes, started expounding on those notes, and… and then… I stopped. I just stopped. I just stopped.

After spending more than 3 hours of watching and reviewing this week’s WWE programming, I felt burned out. Really burned out. It’s like those sugar rush episodes wherein it all ends up with you crashing down—in my case, it’s my mind on full pro wrestling overload that suddenly went BSOD. Maybe this is my mind telling me to slow down and rethink my strategy on how I run things on The Dispatch.

And slow down, I must do. I should just talk about my birth month since it’s now… December! (Yey!)